


Vastra and Jenny Oneshots

by Dragoon23



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-01-13 09:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 37,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1221310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoon23/pseuds/Dragoon23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shots centered around Vastra and Jenny. They will generally be small.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rank

Jenny took a deep breath and attempted to calm her temper. But there was only so much taunting and insults she could take before she exploded. Jenny was usually a level headed girl who, after dealing with Vastra on a daily basis, rarely lost her temper. She could handle a few careless insults from Vastra because she knew that her wife thought of her as an honorary Silurian and simply forgot she wasn't one.

What Jenny couldn't ignore anymore though, was the constant insults and dismissive looks she was receiving from the Silurians they saved from an invasion of giant mutated rats. They should be grateful. Instead, they treated her as a thing to be ridiculed or ignored. Vastra attempted to intervene but Jenny held her back. From her discussions with Vastra, she knew if she didn't hold her ground the Silurians would not take her seriously. They would continue seeing her as Vastra's pet or worst.

Unsheathing her sword, Jenny faced her current tormenter and challenged her to an honor duel. Her opponent smiled arrogantly, but accepted as to decline would be a dishonor. Her smile soon turned into a frown as the human easily held her own. Her frown turned into alarm when she could barely keep up with the human's attacks. With a quick flick of her wrist, Jenny disarmed her opponent making the blade clang onto the stone floor. The Silurian's eyes widened with shock and humiliation before she reluctantly bowed her head in deference to the human.

The other Silurians gasp in shock and grudgingly began treating Jenny with respect. Though out the whole confrontation, Vastra grinned proudly at her mate. Let the others call her a fool and an ape lover.

She would always choose Jenny over any Silurian any day.


	2. New Addition

Vastra couldn't believe her eyes. Their offspring was so large and soft. Of course they had discussions at length with the doctors of this time to know what a hybrid would entail, but to actually see it, well Vastra was a bit overwhelmed.

For the first time in a long while, she felt truly inadequate and unprepared. She rarely had encounters with hatchlings but she distinctly remember they were tiny mischievous devils from the moment they hatched. But their offspring was a large sleepy angel with soft scales and little non-clawed hands. Her crests hadn't even come in yet. Vastra routinely dealt (and ate) the worst of humanity and occasionally the universe without so much as a flinch, but this? The green woman wasn't sure she could handle this.

"No, Strax!"

Vastra snapped out of it to see Jenny glaring at a maniacally grinning Strax who had somehow smuggled in a box full of grenades.

Vastra rolled her eyes but smiled faintly as she watched Jenny send a sulking Strax away. The green woman relaxed and placed her head against Jenny's, taking in her scent. Her smile grew wider when she took in another scent.

"Why are you still wearing that cloak? It's not that cold in here."

Vastra got up to take off the heavy cloak and place it on a chair. "There's a snowstorm outside. I can feel the cold invading my scales and establishing bunkers in my crest. If I start hibernating, it's on your head."

Jenny rolled her eyes but sighed happily when Vastra settled back. The green woman tentatively touched her daughter and chuckled when a tiny hand grabbed a finger. All Vastra knew was fighting and killing but this? She could happily learn this with Jenny by her side.


	3. Remembering

Vastra muttered in Silurian absentmindedly as she carefully painted on the scales on her right arm the names of her Sisters.

While writing, she remembered them. Each letter reminded her of all their dreams. Each finished name spoke of stories that ended too soon. Vastra sometimes imagined them watching her in silence, their faces expressionless but their eyes were judging. She whispered apologies to them for living.

The first time she did this, it was too soon, too fresh. She couldn't even finish with all their memories swirling in her head. One of the others were far more deserving of living than her and it was only by cruel luck her pod survived. Vastra tried again much later when she could feel the fringes of time encroaching on her memories, dulling them. After several shedding cycles erased their names, she would paint them again and relive the memories to make sure she wouldn't forget no matter how painful it was.

Vastra sometimes thought about writing down her memories and preserve them in text, but she felt once she start she wouldn't be be able to stop dwelling in the past. Even with her long lifespan, there wouldn't be enough time to record all of it. She briefly thought of painting or song before dismissing them immediately with a scoff. Her Sisters would rather go deaf than listen to her sing and she refused to dishonor them with her barely discernible stick figures.

But she could maim and kill very well.

Vastra raises her arm and looks at the ink with a critical eye. There, the last of her sisters' name was drawn. Now they could guide her sword arm. This way, the best of her abilities were dedicated to them. Each slash of her blades or a pull of a trigger honored them and in turn she would fight with the fury of all her Sisters. She shook her head and smiled faintly. If they could see her now, they would have called her a sentimental fool and ask if she had eaten properly.

Vastra placed her arm back down onto the table and picked up the brush to write one more name. She brought it close to her scales and stopped. Her hand trembled for a second before continuing to write.

The first letter forced Vastra to remember making her clench her teeth.

_Death had a particular scent to it and it nearly drove Vastra mad when she smelled it all around them. It shouldn't be this close or here so soon. It couldn't be coming from her. It shouldn't be this old. She wasn't dead. She wasn't breathing. She was lying so still. Her heart wasn't wasn't dead!_

Several letters in made Vastra release a guttural sound from the back of her throat. If Strax hadn't been able to revive her, she would have torn him apart. She pressed forward, determine to not let these memories stop her. It was good to have them.

_She died. Not now. No, sometime in the past. Her wife, her precious mammal. Nights spent cuddling in front of the fireplace. No, that wasn't right. Vastra spent those nights cold, shivering under a stolen blanket. A filthy ape surrounded by a gang of vermin screamed for help. Good, another piece of trash gone. She walked on by. No that is wrong! That didn't happen. They were married. She was soft and smelled good, like home. She was beautiful. She... What did she look like? What did she smell like? Ape. Hers? Why did she care about an ape?_

Vastra didn't notice that she had snapped her brush, her eyes glazed and her breathing shallow. The memories of that other time had mostly faded, but she couldn't forget completely. She remembered how she relished letting her die. Vastra could still hear that horrible screaming before it was abruptly cut off. It had been so hard to hold on to her fading memories as darker ones replaced them, to remember that it was all wrong, that Jenny lived.

She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. It didn't happen, but it could have happened so very easily. Just one missed encounter changed everything. She cursed in Silurian and got up, flicking her tongue to taste the air. Vastra needed to see her wife. She needed to know this wasn't a dream or a hallucination. She walked quickly out of the room, into the halls, and arrived at the kitchen. Only when she saw her mate did her breathing calmed and the glazed look in her eyes cleared. She watched her mammal silently as she prepared dinner. Vastra flicked her tongue out again, savoring the smell and taste of her mate. Her eyes wandered slowly over Jenny as she tried to memorize everything about her. How could she forget her?

Vastra walked over to Jenny and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, nuzzling her neck. Jenny opened her mouth to say something but stopped when she noticed the ink on Vastra's arms. She relaxed into Vastra's arms, content to remind her she was still here. Two years had past since Trenzalore and still that nightmare haunted them. Vastra whispered in Silurian forgetting Jenny couldn't understand her. As she turned Jenny around to face her, she asked Jenny to forgive her. Her hands came up to cup Jenny's face as she vowed to cherish every single moment with her precious wife. And as she lowered her lips to kiss her, she promised to never again forget her.


	4. Vastra: Past - Before Meeting the Doctor

Vastra's earliest memory was of waking up somewhere dark, wet, small, and had flexible walls. She remembered kicking her tiny legs and arms to break out of it. She didn't like how the walls were pressing down on her from all sides. She was also very very hungry and there was no food in this tiny space. The walls collapsed under her persistence and she breathed her first breath of outside air. Vastra than caught the scent of something that smelled delicious and she quickly crawled her way over to the carcass. Tearing off a piece with her tiny claws, she happily began eating her first meal ignoring the rest of her brethren still trying to get out of their eggs. More for her if they didn't get out soon. Vastra remembered a deep belly laugh above her making her pause in eating as she looked up. The older Silurian shook her head and gestured for Vastra to continue eating. Shrugging, the young hatchling went back to her first meal. It was far too good to ignore after all.

* * *

Vastra hissed in frustration when she landed on her backside again. She excelled in fighting with guns and bladed weapons. She had the fastest time completing the dreaded Cold exercises. Unarmed combat though always gave her problems. Her reflexes were slow and she still could not read her opponent properly. Picking herself up, she glared at her Sister who smirked at her arrogantly. Oh she'll take her down one of these days if it's the last thing she does. Cracking her neck, she yelled as she launched herself. She wouldn't win that day or the next.

Vastra finally won a match two decades later and had the date marked into her scales on her left shoulder.

* * *

Vastra quietly broke the lock to the compound while her Sisters waited beside the wall. They were to infiltrate and rescue the kidnapped Senator in the building by any means necessary. It would be their 13th mission together. Tasting the air, Vastra signaled for them to go in and the mission commenced. She sent a small prayer to the Goddess that all would go well. It was a complete success.

Later while celebrating, Vastra smiled as her Sisters bickered with each other. She resisted getting into the debate of which Silurian had the sexiest scales but she couldn't resist the age old debate of guns versus swords.

* * *

Vastra rubbed her forehead in embarrassment as her Sisters laughed. They all had a week of leave and decided to travel to the hottest place on Earth. It was great to have moments like this where they could all relax, basking under the sun, and not have to think about any missions. They didn't have to be calm efficient machines who did whatever it took to protect the Empire, their tribe, and each other. She pushed one of her sisters making her topple off the rock and into the water. Vastra giggled, relishing the look of outrage shot at her. Life was good and she wouldn't change a thing.

* * *

Vastra frowned at the announcements that they were all going to go under hibernation. Here was an enemy to the Empire she could not fight against. No one could tell them when they would be awakened and in what state the planet would in. This was not comforting at all and she had a bad feeling about this. She pushed these thoughts away as she helped panicked civilians into their pods. Her and her Sisters would be the last to go under stasis. They had one more meal together outside, trying to memorizing the sky and the lands. Despite having long memorized what each other's scent were, they kept flicking their tongues out to taste the air. When it was all over, they planned to break open a bottle of their best wine and toast the Goddess for surviving an apocalypse.

Vastra went under with a smile.

* * *

_They started with twenty._

Vastra fell to her knees.

_After the fifth mission, they lost one._

She raised a trembling bloody hand to the wall of hard dirt and rock in front of her. Her sisters were crushed under that.

_Three were struck down in mission eighteen that went horribly wrong._

Torn human corpses were sprawled all around her, their glassy eyes staring into nowhere.

_Five more would die before they all went to sleep._

Vastra screamed.

_And now there was only one._


	5. Vastra: Past - Meeting the Doctor

Vastra tore another piece off the corpse, chewed it, and swallowed. She was hungry and the apes tasted good. She remembered vaguely the scientists who talked about modifying the apes so that their taste was better. As her grip tightened around a bone, she snorted. Their taste was the only good thing about them. She quickly finished her meal, relishing the sound of every bone crack and muscle torn. Revenge was dirty, cold, and tasty.

The Silurian stiffened. Something didn't smell right. She flicked her tongue out tasting the air. Blood, dirt, rats, sewage, mold, ah there it was. Flicking her tongue again, she turned. Her head tilted as she watched her observer. He looked like an ape, dressed liked one, but he didn't smell like one. She flicked her tongue out again to be sure and tilted her head to the other side. No, this 'ape' didn't smell or taste like one.

She got up slightly but stayed close to the ground. It made her a smaller target and if need be, she could leap away. Vastra was unsure if she should attack since this being was not ape and did not attack her, but perhaps he was an ally of those filthy vermin.

The non-ape realized he was being watched and smiled as he said in Silurian, "Hello."

Vastra's eyes widened with shock and she stood up though her body was still ready for battle. It had been a long time since she heard her language. She had been unable to contact any of the others in the City and with the death of her Sisters she thought she would never hear it again. She was about to answer when she heard barking and growling.

She hissed and ran despite the strange non-ape's cries to stop. Apes were easy to hunt. Their vulnerable flesh gave away easily to her claws. The four legged growling furry things with teeth and on the other hand weren't so nice.

* * *

Vastra cursed and hissed as she paced slowly in her cell. How humiliating, the last Silurian caged like an ape. To make matters worst, they somehow harnessed the Cold. She shivered in memory of the cold invading passed her armor and scales before infecting her flesh. Her body was still so very sluggish due to that contraption. She could hear the apes arguing with the non-ape in their guttural language but it sounded like the non-ape won. She tilted her head when he approached, flicking her tongue out.

He genuinely looked sad which made her scales itch. "Sorry about this but we really can't have you terrorizing London. It wouldn't be proper and you are so much better than this."

Vastra hissed, stalking to the bars. "They are all vermin who should die like the animals they are, ape lover."

The non-ape grinned. "Ape lover? Well not Ape-ape because they are terrible conversationalists but they do like bananas which are cool. But humans really are nice and I like humans so I guess that makes me an ape-human lover-ish thingy. But really," He tilted his head. "Don't you think you've killed enough? All the humans who were at fault are already in your belly and now you've been killing people who had nothing to do with it."

Vastra slammed her fists into the bars. "They've killed my Sisters! They should all die for their crime! Why should I listen to you? You know nothing of us."

"Now, that's where you're wrong. You are a Silurian or Homo Reptilia if you prefer. I know from your armor that you are from the warrior class. Second, you already killed all the ones who killed your sisters so they've been avenged. Third, would your sisters really be honored by the death of humans who are not only innocent but are quite weaker than yourself? Didn't your code or oath had something about death and suffering? Come on, now. If what I've read on your species is correct, you had that drilled into your head from the moment you started your training."

Vastra paused at that.

The non-ape breathed a sigh of relief as the wheels turned in Vastra's head. There was still hope for a peaceful outcome unlike the other time. "Those people probably never handled a gun in their lifetime or had any type of formal combat training. They were people who's only crime they were in the wrong place in the wrong time and going by their wounds, they died quite painfully."

The Silurian did not respond.

The non-ape nodded. "If you continue further down this path, it'll only end with more bloodshed and pain and lead you further astray. These humans control the world now and they will be vengeful. Is that really how you want to leave your mark? Hunted prey instead of a proud Silurian who would fight for the best of causes?"

He waited a beat but when Vastra didn't respond, he nodded to himself. "Anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake. I'll come back with some food since you must be hungry."

The Silurian barely noticed him leaving as she sat down against a wall. Her Oath. Did she betray it? Had she fallen so far from the path that she dishonored her Sisters rather than honor them? Perhaps the non-ape was right and she should stop. After all, she did kill all the murderers operating the machinery. But her Sisters deserved better than being crushed by a wall of dirt because of those filthy _mammals_. Hissing, she smacked her head against the wall behind her. She was the last of her species. One last blaze of vengeful battle where she took down as many of those crawling insects with her or a longer life where she had to _live_ among the insects? Vastra was so tired of the isolation, grief, and anger. Perhaps she should choose the violent but short end. Then this nightmare would finally conclude and she could join her Sisters. It was so tempting.

She closed her eyes and took a breath.

No, she was stronger than this. They wouldn't appreciate this needless sacrifice anyway. They would probably yell at her and kill her again for even considering the easy way out. Taking another breath she opened her eyes, a small flicker of flame reigniting.

She would live. She hissed in satisfaction. She won't let some lowly ape kill her because she became too emotionally compromised. No, she will die a true Warriors' death, as an apex predator rather than hunted prey. If she wasn't doing it for herself, than she would do it for those that weren't with her any longer. They died and now she would live for them.

When the non-ape appeared again with food, Vastra eye him curiously. "Who are you and how do you know so much of my species?"

He placed the meal in front of Vastra. "Oh! I forgot to introduce myself in all this excitement. I am the Doctor. And you?"

The Silurian hesitated before answering, "Vastra."

She tentatively grabbed the meat on the plate. It was warm but didn't smell like anything she recognized and it was softer.

The Doctor, noticing her hesitation, explained "It's cow. Four legged herbivore. Humans farm them for food."

Vastra took a small bite. She stopped and looked at it.

"Good?"

The Silurian ignored the question and took a larger bite. It was acceptable. "You didn't answer my question: How do you know so much of my species?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I've encountered them before and decided to read up on them."

Vastra froze. "Explain." Her eyes narrowed.

"Your pods weren't the only ones uncovered by humans."

Vastra stood up. "There are more of my kind alive?"

"There are. But the last returned to hibernation for another 1000 years after initiating a purge."

The Silurian sighed and returned to her seat. "Automatic protocol would lock down the area until such a time has pass."

After a moment of silence wrestling with unrealistic schemes to shut down the protocols, Vastra looked back up at the non-ape. "What do you plan to do with me?"

The Doctor pulled up a chair and sat in front of her. "Well that depends on you. What will you do if released?"

Vastra swallowed and took a moment. "I won't kill any more of these apes, not unless they give me reason to. Beyond that."

She shrugged.

The Doctor clapped his hands. "I have the perfect place for you! There's a nice old lady in London who will love to have you around, teach you English, and everything. She's quite lonely so she'll be thrilled at the company."

Vastra tilted her head to the side. "Why are you helping me when you are an ally of these apes?"

The Doctor just smiled.


	6. Being Human

Same idea, Two versions. Decided to put both up.

* * *

Version 1:

Vastra swore if she ever got her claws on the person who did this, she would rip him apart with a rusty dull blade. She was deeply insulted when he died by falling out of a window. It wasn't slow or painful enough for what he had inflicted.

She glared at her hands, wishing for her bumpy scales instead of lightly furred skin. The Doctor assured her it was temporary and she'll be back to normal in a few days which comforted her. Still, there was little Vastra could do against the rising frustration of being an ape.

After nearly a century of being a Silurian, being a human reminded of her time as a hatchling when she was still learning how to walk. Her physical strength was inferior, there was a heavy mess of fur on her head, and her reflexes were much slower. Even their saving grace of being warm-blooded was brought down by the constant need to feed.

Hissing (that it sounded nowhere as menacing only made her more angry) she got up and began pacing. She needed to control this anger before she ended up hurting someone. Vastra paused before shaking her head. No, this wasn't anger, this was fear.

She knew logically that Jenny had only gone shopping for food and will be back soon. She knew her wife could handle herself quite well if any vermin attempted to delay her. It was all routine by now, Jenny would go shopping while Vastra puzzled out a case at home. But without her mate's comforting scent in the house, doubts and insecurities whispered to her.

This was her future, a house without her mate for so long that not even her scent lingered. While she realized this would happen eventually given their lifespan differences, she tended to bury such thoughts when they surfaced. But now, with the fact pressed so abruptly onto her, she found herself wavering. Vastra flicked out her tongue before she realized she was trying to scent the air again. She ran a hand over her face as she sat down heavily on the bed. She was so lost in thought she hadn't heard the door open.

"Vastra? You alright?"

Vastra sighed and beckoned Jenny over. Once she was close enough, Vastra pulled her down until she was sitting on her lap. She held on tightly, feeling the thoughts slip away. They were still there, hiding in the shadows, but for now she was content to not think of anything.

"I am now."

Version 2:

Vastra woke up groggily and instantly knew something was wrong. She looked at her hands and shut her eyes tight. Opening them back, she growled. Clumsily, she made her way to the dresser and picked up the mirror. Her hands tightened around the object as she barely restrained herself from throwing it at the wall. Vastra attempted to curse in Silurian but found her mouth could not wrap over the words correctly.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?"

Vastra took a deep breath and place the mirror back on the dresser. "Clearly I'm not as I'm still human." She spat out the word like it was a piece of rotten meat. "I want to kill the idiot who did this to me."

"You already did yesterday."

Vastra turned and glared at Jenny. "I want to kill him again. Slowly and painfully. With a dull rusty blade."

Jenny shook her head and pulled her reluctant wife into a hug. It was so strange to feel soft smooth skin instead of bumpy hard scales. "The Doctor said It'll wear out in a day or two. "

"I don't-"

Strax burst into the room yelling gleefully, "MADAME! BOY! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK FROM MOONITES!"

Vastra sighed as she leaned into her wife, searching for comfort. "Of course we are."

One crazy adventure later in which Vastra couldn't participate fully due to her human body left her feeling very frustrated. As soon as they returned to their home, she stormed into the master bedroom and began pacing. Jenny came in a minute later after dismissing Strax, concerned. It was disturbing to see her warrior wife so uncoordinated in battle, like a kitten learning to hunt. "Ma-Vastra? What's going on?"

"I hate this."

"It's only-"

"I absolutely _despise_ this. Half my senses is gone and the other half is significantly dulled severely impairing my fighting ability. This body's reflexes is slower than a red leech. But the worst thing is I can't _see_ you."

Jenny frowned in confusion. "I'm right here."

Vastra sighed and sat down in on the bed, beckoning Jenny over. Once Jenny moved close enough, Vastra pulled her down onto her lap facing her. "Here, in this house, your scent is everywhere. It feels like home and basking under a warm summer sun. But since humans' senses are inferior I cannot detect it. Without that scent, this house is empty and void of comfort. It's like being underground again. I can't even smell you when we're this close. I can't-"

Vastra abruptly ended the sentence and ran a hand down her face, closing her eyes. Frustrated by her inability to scent the air, she pulled Jenny closer to her, nuzzling into her neck. "Your scent lingers strongest at your current location so I can find you if I need to. But in this body, I can't locate you wherever you are. As soon as you're out of my sight, I can't tell if you're still here or if time stole you away. I hate this because I can't _see_ you as my species only can."

Jenny's eyes widened at Vastra's uncharacteristic openness. It didn't help Trenzalore still insistently nipped their heels.

Several long moments later, Vastra chuckled softly startling Jenny. "I don't know how you apes- humans handle this lack of information. It's so little. I can see, feel, and hear you. But as soon as you are out of my immediate vicinity, there's no more."

Jenny smiled faintly. "Now you know how I feel when you go off on jobs by yourself."

"Yes, and now I admire you all the more for it. I don't think I would survive the worry."

Determine to stop Vastra from drifting into unpleasant memories again, Jenny kissed her wife. Feeling her respond, Jenny deepened it until Vastra pull back slightly out of breath.

"Lower lung capacity. Another reason to dislike this body."

Jenny was fascinated by the blush on the former Silurian's skin. With her scales, it was difficult to see a change of color even when aroused. Curious, she leaned up and nipped Vastra's ear making the other jump.

"Jenny! What are you..."

Grinning impishly now with a rudimentary plan forming, Jenny answered, "Distracting you. Is it working?"

Vastra rolled her eyes but relaxed despite still feeling a bit uncomfortable. Apparently, humans had more erogenous zones - her breath hitched, eyes widened just a bit - than Silurians.

For once, something about humans that wasn't a disadvantage.


	7. First Three Meetings

The first time they met, the little mammal was unconscious surrounded by a gang of five filthy looking apes. At the time, Vastra only gave a cursory glance to Jenny as she was much more interested in the gang of five. It was a pity the primitives still haven't figured out refrigeration yet or she'd be set for days. Anyhow, she'll eat the large fat one for dinner.

Vastra knocked out her main course with her tongue. Hissing, she lashed out at the rest mindful to not use her claws or teeth, until they were all dead at her feet. Vastra nodded in satisfaction as now it just look like an unusually strong ape took them all down. She rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, reviewing the battle in her head. Her first couple of moves was acceptable but the last maneuver was sloppy and a tad too slow. Making a mental note to practice that move more often, Vastra walked toward the unconscious woman and looked at her with indecision. Bleeding head wound, split lip, possible internal injuries. Vastra sighed and tasted the air, wincing faintly at the taste. It took her several seconds to ignore the ugly scents and search for the right ones. Cold night and no apes in the immediate area. Plenty of time for her to return home with the tiny ape and return to her meal. If not, she'll just have to go hungry until tomorrow.

Picking up the female, Vastra quickly made her way back. It was a good thing for the primitive that the Doctor was here or Vastra would have just put her to bed, bandaged the head, and hoped for the best. While going home, the Silurian made a mental note to learn more about human physiology. It wouldn't do if the apes she sometimes saved later died because of her ignorance.

* * *

The second time they met, Jenny was following Vastra during one of her hunts at night. Or rather, Vastra figured out an ape was tailing her and was deciding whether to lose it by scaling a wall, knock it out, or confront it. Upon deciding, Vastra turned round a corner into an alleyway.

Hurrying to catch up, Jenny didn't expect to be grabbed and slammed against the wall chest first. She struggled but couldn't break the hold on her arms which were twisted behind her back.

Vastra hissed menacingly, the effect somewhat lessened by the scarf covering the lower portion of her face.

"When you're done fighting, I'm going to give you a little test. Pass it and you'll live. Fail, and I'll eat you. Continue to fight, and I'll skip the test and just eat you. Do you understand?"

Jenny gulped but nodded, forcing herself to stop. Why did she think this was a good idea? Gathering up her waning courage, she'll play this game until she found a way out.

Vastra tilted her head. "I'm going to ask you a series of questions. You are to answer with only one word. Only one. Understand?"

"Yes." Vastra grinned slightly at the lack of tremor in the answer. She could taste the fear radiating off the primitive.

"Were you following me?"

"Yes."

"How did you find me?"

"Doctor." Vastra sighed, she was going to have a word with him about this. She did not him about her hunting grounds just to have him send humans after her.

"Who sent you."

"Me."

"Why are you following me?"

"Questions."

"About?"

"You."

Vastra tilted her head at that. What an odd ape. Vastra let go and stepped back, curious to see how the ape would react. Jenny turned slowly, rubbing her wrists where Vastra held them tightly.

"If you can find me again tonight, perhaps I'll answer a few of your questions."

With that, she leaped on to a wall, scaled it, and disappeared among the rooftops. Jenny paused for a moment wondering whether she was really doing this before running. There was only a few hours left before that happened.

* * *

As Vastra was walking home, she pondered about the human's scent. There was something familiar about it but with how humans all look and smelled similar, she couldn't be sure. After easily losing the mammal, she found a suitable thief to eat. It was a pity that the scumbags of London didn't really taste that good compared to someone fat on the good life.  
it was also a pity that the female ape didn't find her again.

"Was wondering when you'd show up."

Vastra's eyes widened when she noticed the human shivering by the entrance to her home.

"How did you know of this location?" Vastra's eyes narrowed in suspicion,.

"A couple of days ago, you saved me and brought me here. It's where I met the Doctor too."

Vastra relaxed slightly. Of course, that's why the scent was familiar. Chuckling, the Silurian ran a hand down her face. "Well, you've found me. Let's take this inside. I assume you have questions for me."

At the girl's hesitance, Vastra added while opening the door, "I promise I won't manhandle or eat you. What's your name?"

"Jenny Flint, Ma'am. And you?"

"You may call me Vastra."


	8. The Kitten

Vastra hesitated outside the building and looked down at the furry mammal sitting at her feet. The kitten meowed, looking up pitifully at the green woman. The infernal thing had been following her ever since she kills the dog attacking it. Since the underground incident, she loathed dogs. Though suspicious of the kitten's true nature, Vastra couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. It smelled like a mammal, looked like a mammal, and was definitely persistent like a mammal. Vastra sighed irritably, picking up the cat by the scruff of it's neck and opened the door. Better to handle this potential threat inside before the sun comes up. It wouldn't do to be caught outside eating the tiny furry thing as apes were sensitive about those things.

Once inside her room, she wrinkled her nose at the faint smell. It looks like she'll definitely need to finish the corpse tonight before the smell became any stronger. Vastra dropped the kitten onto the floor where it immediately raced off to explore its new surroundings. The green woman watched it scurry off before heading to the bag in the corner where she kept her unfinished meal. It was a bit risky bringing food to her hideout, but she couldn't risk alerting the gang boss she was in the vicinity. He had a tight hold on the area and a missing person would be suspicious. Hopefully, if her information paid out, she'll be able to go home tomorrow after eating him and maybe several of his top minions. She deserved a little treat after the amount of tracking she had to do.

The kitten ignored the cracking and tearing sounds while it pawed at the drapes covering the lone window. Getting bored, it raced back over to Vastra who paused in her meal. The kitten meowed and put its small paws on the green woman's leg.

Vastra shrugged and ripped off a small piece of meat, holding it out for the kitten. She smiled faintly when it snatched it from her hand and gnawed on it. It was such a skinny little thing. Perhaps it really was a helpless mammal. She continued eating the rest of the corpse while occasionally tearing small pieces for the kitten to eat. After finishing and cleaning up, Vastra gave the bed a doubtful look before deciding against it. The bed covers and mattress smelled dirty and it was a vulnerable position. She didn't expect trouble tonight but one could never be too sure in this area. She looked at the kitten who was playing with the drapes again. Shrugging, she walked over, grabbed it by the neck, and dropped it onto the bed.

"Someone should use this." she muttered in Silurian as she watched the kitten circle around in the bed before curling up into a ball. Nodding, she plopped herself against a wall facing the door and fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, Vastra woke up to a thump sound. She leaped up quickly in battle position, her tongue flicking in and out to taste the air. The Silurian froze when she saw the torn drapes and the kitten on the floor. After seeing nothing out of the ordinary besides large holes in the drapes, Vastra forced herself to calm down and glare at the kitten. She walked over to it and grabbed it by the neck so it faced her. She hissed out, "Maybe I should eat you now, troublemaker" It's ears drooped as it meowed pitifully. Looking at it for a moment, she dropped it onto the ground with a sigh. "No matter. You would barely make a bite anyway."

She walked over to the table in the back of the room, sat down in a chair, and picked up her case file to double check her plan. Once done, Vastra picked up one of the books the Doctor got her. He had somehow gotten some Silurian literature which she gleefully devoured. It's been so long since she read something of her native language that sometimes she feared she would forget.

The kitten, realizing it wasn't going to be punished, pawed at Vastra's clothes, meowing. The green woman absentmindedly picked it up and dropped it on the table before petting it as if it was one of the miniature raptors she used to keep as pets. The tiny mammal decided now was a good time for a nap and curled up, purring. Vastra paused at the noise and frowned at the tiny thing. She sighed before resuming both the petting and the reading.

* * *

Vastra returned later that night with a satisfied grin. Boss and all relevant minions killed or eaten. Now she'll finally be able to go home. Entering the room, she tilted her head at the kitten who had somehow dragged part of the blanket off the bed and was tangled in it.

It meowed as it tried to free itself. Vastra shook her head and helped it get out of its predicament.

"You mammals always seem to get into trouble. How you conquered the planet is beyond me."

The kitten, once freed ran to the drapes.

Vastra sighed and gathered her things. Once done, she tilted her head as she looked at the cat who was now playing with its tail.

"What to do with you, little mammal." The kitten tired out of it's little game and ran to Vastra, meowing.

She crouched down and began petting it. "I wonder..."

* * *

"Afternoon Ma'am, how was your trip?"

"Eventful. We might be having another mammal resident here..."


	9. Prompt: Injured Jenny

Setting: Before Vastra started training Jenny.

As Vastra entered the building, she absentmindedly scented the air as was her habit. _Home. Tea. Dusty books. Fire smoke. Raw meat. Cow? No pig. Jenny. Unknown apes. Blood. Ape._ She froze for a moment and quickly flicked her tongue out again. _Blood. Not menstruation blood. Jenny's? Unknown._ She pulled out her hidden blade as she flicked her tongue out. _Follow the scents, where was Jenny? Living room._ She went there quickly, gathering information from the lingering smells. _One, two, three, four? Possibly three to four unknowns. No longer in the room. Stronger upstairs._

Vastra barely restrained a hiss when she saw Jenny lying on the floor, bleeding sluggishly from a head wound. She quickly went to her and dropped down on the floor. Vastra breathed a sigh of relief when she found a pulse and a cursory exam showed no other serious injuries. Vastra looked upstairs and narrowed her eyes.

Vastra gave one last look to Jenny before grabbing the blade she dropped and stood up. Cautiously moving forward, she went upstairs, scenting the air as she check the rooms. _Definitely four. Male. Female. Old. Gone. Several hours._

Hissing in frustration and anger at the empty rooms, Vastra sheathed her blade and quickly went to get the kit. She memorized their scents. She will find them and they will pay in flesh.

As Vastra treated Jenny, the Silurian tried to figure out who would cause them harm. The lock was not damaged, the various rooms seemed intact, and as far as she could tell, nothing was stolen. Jenny would know. She always knew where everything was in the house. Vastra cursed in Silurian. Once she was done, Vastra gently picked up Jenny and placed her on the couch.

She dragged one of the chairs closer to the couch and sat down to watch over her. Now she had to wait for Jenny to wake up. Perhaps she knew who the attackers were. The Silurian hated waiting.

Vastra sighed in frustration. She was going teach Jenny how to fight so nothing like this would happen again. After all, it would take her far too much time to find another ape who wasn't scared of her and was also relatively clever. Nothing like a Silurian of course, but Jenny proved to be very capable.

Leaning back in her seat, Vastra settled in for the night.

* * *

Original Prompt: vastra comes home to unconscious and hurt jenny and has to take care of her. She has no idea what happened but has to wait till jenny wakes up.


	10. Prompt: Weak Spot

Tough scales on the back, arms, legs make them hard places to puncture or injure. The abdominal region was where the soft vulnerable scales were, an unfortunately evolutionary side effect. The joints were another weak spot.

Vastra absentmindedly mentally listed the weaknesses of her species.

The cold was the bane of a Silurian. Stick one in a bright freezing room and they'll be blabbering within hours. And prying scales off? Extremely painful, particularly the ones near the head.

Now humans on the other hand. The Silurian shook her head, though mindful not to wake her wife.

_Everywhere_ was a weak point. Their skin lacked scales and gave easily under her fingers. They had inferior strength and reflexes. Their sense of smell and taste was abysmal. Simply gripping too hard made them squeal. She was honestly surprised by how they managed to conquered the planet while being so vulnerable.

Still, Vastra smiled a bit sadistically, they did taste good especially a well bred one. She was broken out of her thoughts when Jenny shifted in her sleep to lie more on top of Vastra. The Silurian couldn't quite contain the slight rumbling sound that Jenny said was similar to purring.

Vastra tilted her head as she looked down at Jenny. Perhaps she was looking at this the wrong way. While they were physically weak, they had potential to overcome those weaknesses and be greater. And those were the ones who ended up leading the apes to where they were now. Vastra was certain one of them was currently sleeping on top of her.

And perhaps she was just a daft old lizard (Jenny's description not hers) who should try to sleep instead of thinking strange things at night. Vastra pulled Jenny closer to her and closed her eyes. No more heavy thoughts tonight.

* * *

Original prompt: weak points


	11. Prompt: Tardis

Original Prompt: Jenny's first ride on the TARDIS. The Doctor takes her and Vastra back in time to the dawn of the Silurians.

This was very challenging. Tweaking it a bit since I think Jenny's first ride was forward in time to get Amy and the baby back from Madame Korvarian. She had no idea what the blue police box in the living room was in "A Good Man Goes to War". So it'll go over two Tardis trips.

**First Trip on the Tardis**

Jenny was fascinated by the inside of the box. There were so many buttons, levers, space, and even living quarters inside the police box. She also was pretty sure she was the only human next to all Madame Vastra's people, rhino people (Madame said they were Judo? Jenny didn't catch all of it as she was busy looking around), and a blue man. Surrounded by so many aliens and unknowns, Jenny instinctively retreated away to a semi empty corner to observe the proceedings.

Blend with the environment, don't stand out. Be invisible, don't be noticed and your mark will be none the wiser. After getting her fill of the various species on the craft, Jenny leaned against the wall to watch her favorite mark. She'd never seen Vastra act so unguarded and casual even though they were going on a dangerous rescue mission. Jenny noticed some of the other Silurians were looking at Madame with awe and Jenny couldn't help a little grin. Yep, Vastra was just that compelling.

Jenny patiently waited until Madame called her over to go over the plan. Putting aside her frivolous musings, Jenny walked over, determined to help make the mission a success.

* * *

With a time traveling phone booth that could teleport almost anywhere in the universe, it was relatively easy to sneak onto the asteroid. Jenny felt a little disappointed there were only two guards between them and the security controls. They quickly tied up the two guards and waited for the Doctor's signal. Then Vastra had to ruin the moment by being insensitive and saying all mammals looked alike. Jenny knew she was of average appearance but did the daft lizard really have to rub it in? The human muttered sarcastically, "Thank you" before turning away.

She cheered up when Vastra apologized and knocked out a guard with her long tongue. That almost never failed to amuse her.

* * *

They've been fooled. It was a trap.

Jenny cursed out loud when her gun ran out of ammo. Damn it, how many monks were there? She quickly dropped the heavy gun and switched to her sword. Keep moving, don't be a still target. Use your senses. Survive. Jenny quickly stepped back to avoid a downward swing before stabbing the monk.

"Down Jenny!"

Jenny quickly dropped down barely dodging a shot. Vastra hissed in anger as she killed the monk aiming at Jenny. The human got up and yanked her blade out before looking for new targets. She couldn't let any of them through. Keep moving.

Lorna took a shot to the chest. They were down one.

Jenny blocked another blow and slashed him. They kept coming. She gritted her teeth as she fought for people she barely knew. She wasn't a helpless street brat anymore. They were going to live.

Strax got stabbed in the back. Only three left.

Jenny kept moving. Block, stab, avoid the energy blasts. Keep moving. And suddenly, there were no more monks.

The human breathed heavily, as she looked around. Vastra stepped over bodies and went to Jenny. When she noted no injuries aside from some superficial cuts and scrapes, she smiled faintly in approval. Jenny had given Vastra the same cursory glance and grinned back. They held each others gaze for a moment longer before breaking away. It was time to check on their wounded and dead.

Amy's horrible scream made them run to her.

* * *

After the disastrous mission, Jenny stood next to Vastra while she looked mournfully over the covered bodies of the Silurian unit. Most of them were wiped out by the Headless Monks. It was only hours ago that many of them were looking at Vastra with admiration. She tentatively touched Vastra's hand who laced their fingers together. They stayed there in silence.

* * *

**Another Trip on the Tardis**

When Jenny activated the perception filter, Vastra nearly dropped the datapad she was holding. If Jenny was rather pretty for her species, she was downright gorgeous as a Silurian. Vastra was quite willing to kill anyone who said or even thought otherwise.

Jenny, reassured about her scaly appearance, laughed softly which brought Vastra out of her shock.

"You look lovely." The Silurian said before shaking her head to clear her thoughts. Now was not the time to regress to a hormone filled youngster in her first mating season. Goddess, was that really nearly a century plus 65 million years ago? Vastra suddenly felt very very old.

"Ma'am? You alright?"

Vastra mentally scolded herself for being so easily distracted and nodded to Jenny before pointing to the pad. "Yes, the strange signal is resonating from here, a residential district. I know how to get there."

* * *

The first thing Jenny noticed when she stepped out of the Tardis was that it was really hot and humid. She was sweating buckets just by standing outside for a few minutes. Vastra on the other hand just smiled twinged with a bit of sadness. Trips back to her time were always painful.

The Doctor meanwhile skipped ahead, speaking of something or other though Vastra was swift to remind him that Silurians did not skip. Thanks to perception filters the Doctor, Jenny, and Clara looked Silurian but they certainly didn't behave or smell like ones. At Vastra's exasperated sigh, Jenny chuckled causing the Silurian to roll her eyes. Jenny was fascinated by all the greenery and the towering buildings. It was nothing like grimy London.

While the Doctor lead with Clara trailing behind, Vastra hung back with Jenny. She relished the feel of her uniform and despite being away from Silurian society for so long, found it easy to slip back into old mannerisms. Straight back, head held high. A slight nod of the head to those of superior rank and receiving them from lesser ranks. A faint hiss from the back of the throat to others from different classes who sneered at her. She never did liked those of the science class. No veils, no need to hide what she was, it was refreshing. Vastra impulsively threw an arm around Jenny and nuzzled her, loving her scent.

Jenny, unused to such public displays and wary of the occasional looks thrown their way, tried to scoot away but her wife wouldn't have any of it. "They're wondering why a pretty Silurian from the Agriculture class like you is doing with an old warrior like me. Let them wonder hmm?"

The human nodded and slowly relaxed though she was too conditioned to fully let go. Vastra hummed in approval. Though they had a case to solve, it was nice to be out in the sunlight.

* * *

The case surprisingly ended quickly leaving the four with some time before they had to leave. Clara dragged the Doctor away.

Vastra smiled as she lead Jenny around, rambling about this and that. The human didn't understand most of it but simply enjoyed seeing her wife so animated.

All too soon, it was time to leave. Jenny grasp Vastra's hand as she took one more longing look at the city. Vastra squeezed Jenny's hand before walking into the Tardis with Jenny.

"Let's go home."

* * *

**Bonus scene/outtake before the perception filters came to light.**

Vastra was seething. She turned around to the smiling oblivious Doctor. "You do realize people farm apes for food in this era."

"Well, I detected a strange signal coming from here and thought to bring a Silurian expert with me to figure it out and don't worry, I have the perfect disguise."

He pulled out robes complete with hoods. "Priest robes! See? Can't see us scale-less beings at all."

Vastra shook her head, rejecting the plan. "Unless those smell like a Silurian, even a hatchling would be able to tell the difference and know something is wrong within seconds."

The Doctor wilted before jumping on another plan. "Okay, what about the front door approach? I believe in this era humans are still more ape than human. So everything should be fine. We'll just say we're ambassadors of London!"

Vastra looked within seconds of tearing him apart, enough that Jenny pulled her aside before she did just that.

"Vastra?"

The Silurian hissed a long string of curses that amused Jenny. "Calm down you daft lizard."

Vastra looked murderously at Jenny but attempted to reign in her temper.

"Vastra, I got it! How about as couriers? We'll be in boxes and you can push us on carts!"

The Silurian groaned and dropped her head down onto Jenny's shoulder.


	12. Prompt: Can't Sleep

Vastra knew she should be sleeping. Her body was exhausted but her mind couldn't rest. Every time she closed her eyes, she remembered Jenny dying or worst, she completely forgetting she existed. Vastra needed to see her, to smell and taste her scent, to feel her scaleless skin and warmth, and to remember every centimeter of her.

When she closed her eyes, Vastra would be back there desperately calling out a name that was rapidly losing all its meaning. Warm nights cuddling in bed were replaced by cold dark streets filled with disgusting smells. Love and happiness faded to anger and madness, a thirst for revenge that wouldn't have stopped until she was hunted down like a rabid dog.

Vastra trembled once before clamping down viciously on the twitching. She would not be weak, she will control her traitorous body. She wasn't strong enough to stop the Whispermen or to hold the memories but she will be now. Vastra lets out a low hiss as she remembered finding Jenny's lifeless body lying on the dirt floor of Trenzalore.

No. She will die before Jenny died again. Never again. Vastra placed a kiss on Jenny's head, taking in her comforting scent. Never again.

* * *

Jenny awoke with a start, dreaming of cold hands and featureless faces grinning cruelly with mouths filled with jagged teeth. Her hands searched and she only calmed when she found familiar warm scales. Alive.

"I'm here Jenny." Vastra murmured.

Jenny noted the tiredness in Vastra's voice and sighed.

"You didn't sleep at all."

"No, I didn't."

Jenny paused, feeling how stiff the Silurian was. She could hear the ragged breathing of her wife, how the sound rattled out of her chest as if she was forcing herself to contain it. Jenny shifted slowly further into Vastra's embrace until she could place her head on Vastra's chest listening to her strong heartbeat. In her nightmares, the Whispermen had plunged their hands into her wife's chest and stopped her heart while she couldn't move, breathe, or even make a sound. She could only watch in horror as Vastra's body hit the ground, gazing up at her with dead accusing eyes.

"I'm sorry." Vastra whispered. Jenny startled as her eyes widened.

"I should have listened to you during the conference call instead of ignoring you. I should have let Clarence DeMarco die instead of listening to him. We wouldn't have been trapped so easily and you - "

"No."

Vastra looked down at Jenny in disbelief. The human struggled to get up, still feeling weak after the Whispermen's two attacks on her heart. Even now, she could feel lingering pain in her back that Strax assured her would heal up soon. The Silurian was quick to help Jenny up until she was sitting up and looking at Vastra who met her gaze.

"It wasn't your fault. If anything, it was mine. I forgot to lock the door."

Vastra shook her head. "No, that wouldn't have stopped them. They would have simply broken down the door and kept coming."

Jenny smiled sadly taking one of Vastra's hands in her own. "Exactly. They would have found a way regardless."

Vastra deflated and touched her forehead to Jenny's. "When did you get so smart?"

"Around the same time you became a daft old lizard. Now, how about we get some sleep?"

Vastra wasn't sure that was possible, but she was so tired. She helped Jenny lie back down before she wrapped herself around her. She inhaled deeply, taking comfort in the feel and smell of her human. Jenny likewise relished being able to feel the scaly skin of her wife. She could feel the last of the adrenalin from the nightmare fade and exhaustion take over again.

There were no more dreams that night.

* * *

Original Prompt: Right so am I doing this right I have no idea... Anyways, I've got you a prompt. Jenny and Vastra after Trenzalore where Vastra just sits up until dawn watching her and thinking about what happened. At some point Jenny should wake


	13. Prompt: Sick Jenny

Prompt: Jenny gets sick

This was the last prompt I got so I could use some more. ;D

* * *

Setting: Before A Good Man Goes to War (ie Nurse Strax)

Vastra glanced around the kitchen in utter confusion. She could boil water and make a half decent pot of tea, but cooking was beyond her abilities. She didn't cook much in her time period and nowadays she rather eat her meat raw than poisoning herself with her cooking.

For a Silurian, it was easy, just cook the meat until it was nearly charred and that was that. She didn't think Jenny would like that since humans had such a fragile composition. She could almost hear her Sisters laughing at her. After she food poisoned the whole group one time, they joked Vastra was public enemy number one. Even though the Silurian improved and it never happened again when it was her turn to cook, the title stuck much to Vastra's embarrassment. Vastra sighed in resignation as she tried to remember how to make a simple dish. This was going to be her most difficult mission yet, Operation Soup.

* * *

Jenny coughed and was relieved there was no blood. It was just the common cold rather than one its harsher brothers. Vastra had all but tied her to the bed demanding she get some rest which surprised the human. The Silurian grumbled about how hard it'll be to train another ape to her standards but Jenny felt touched nonetheless. She knew some employers worked their maids to the bone even when they were on death's door. Asking for a day off was the same as asking to be fired and here was Madame actually forcing her into bed. The last time anyone cared for her was with her family before they found out her secret. She wondered what they would say if they discovered she wasn't on the streets anymore. Jenny was shaken out of her thoughts when Vastra opened the door and carried a tray food in. Her eyes widened with surprise.

"Ma'am?"

The Silurian placed the tray on the table beside the bed. She grumbled out glaring at the bowl on the tray. "Food. I expect you to eat some of it. I'll be back later for the tray."

She left and closed the door before Jenny could say anything in response. Jenny looked at the door for a moment in shock before looking at the tray more closely. Tea, bread, and what appeared to be soup. Jenny smiled as she looked back at the door. She nibbled on the bread and drank some of the tea. The soup was surprisingly alright though Jenny suspected it probably was her cold deadening her sense of taste. Still, she couldn't keep the small grin off her face.

* * *

When Vastra returned later for the tray, Jenny had fallen asleep. Her eyes widened when she saw the soup bowl was empty. The human was insane. Clearly that was the only reason she'd drink all the soup.

As she picked up the tray Jenny stirred briefly. She looked at her employer with sleepy eyes. "Thanks for the food." She mumbled.

"You're welcome. Now go back to sleep."

"Alright." Jenny drifted off again. Vastra shook her head in amusement. She made sure Jenny was covered and the room was sufficiently warm before she left.

Her crazy mammal better get well soon or she'll have to battle the kitchen again.


	14. Prompt: Kid from the Future

Original Prompt: What if Jenny and Vastra meet there future child. An the child is traveling with the Doctor for some reason. The child looks human but has all the traits of a Silurian.

I have trouble writing kids but I thought it'd be interesting to go from the kid's point of view. So here's hopefully a not sucky OC. I have no idea what age I made her, young is all I know at this point. ^_^;;

* * *

The little girl hugged the Doctor as she looked up at the women in delight. She was going to see her moms take down bad guys! They almost never let her tag along because it was too dangerous but she was always super curious about that. She couldn't tell them they were her moms as that would get the Doctor in trouble and she promised her moms (in the future) she was going to be good.

Mom looked at her and tilted her head and frowning as if she was confused. The little girl gulped and hoped Mom didn't notice why she smelled so different despite looking human. Her mom always said her scent was the best of the apes and Silurians combined. Mommy smiled at her causing the little girl to grin back. The Doctor was the bestest babysitter ever.

They were going to take down a bunch of bad guys that was disguised as a shipping business. At first Mom argued against bring her along, but grudgingly relented when the Doctor said he promised the parents he'd keep an eye on her.

Mom gave her another look of suspicion before turning to her blade she was sharpening. The little girl felt a little hurt (Mom never ignored her like that before) and made her way to Mommy who was looking over her lockpick kit. She watched for a few minutes before blurting out and pointed to one of the longer sticks. "What's that?"

Mommy looked at her with amusement before explaining what the tool was and ended up explaining the whole kit. While they were engrossed with the kit, the Silurian kept glancing over.

* * *

The little girl wrinkled her nose at the scent of the place and made sure to keep her mouth close. It smelled really bad here, lots of old blood mix with fish and some sewage. She didn't understand why the Doctor and Mommy weren't reacting to it. She was starting to regret coming along now until Mom tapped her shoulder.

"Concentrate on the good scents and block out the bad ones." Mom whispered, mindful they were suppose to be sneaking in. The little girl nodded and tried but she couldn't. She didn't have that much of control over senses and Mom was still teaching her back in her time.

She almost squealed when Mom suddenly picked up. "Half way there, little one." She murmured. The little girl hesitated before wrapping her arms around Mom's neck and pressing her face in. She smiled as she took in the scent that overwhelmed the one from the environment.

Mom still smelled the same.

* * *

They fell into a trap, but the Doctor did something to the lock with his flashy stick and it opened.

The little girl watched in awe as Mom hit the running goon with her tongue knocking him out. Mommy flipped another minion onto the floor and stomped on his chest. Soon, they had neutralized the boss and all his goons. When they called her over, she ran out of her hiding space and ran up to them and gave them a hug each.

Mom looked surprised but took in stride while Mommy giggled. The little girl smiled her own toothy grin. When she grew up, she wanted to be a crime fighter like them.

* * *

When it came to leave, she was sad it was time to go, but she was also happy. She'll be back with her Moms in the future. She couldn't wait to tell them everything that happened. She hugged them one more time before stepping into the Tardis with the Doctor.

A few minutes later, and she ran up to her 'real' parents. They hugged her extra tight like they tended to do when they were separated for a while. "How was your day with the Doctor, little one?"

"It was great! We went on the Tardis and I met you guys but it was in the past and - "

"What?!"


	15. Valentine's Card

Vastra looked at the envelope in her hand with indecision. It was small and non-descriptive with her name on it. She pondered briefly whether to burn it in the fire since it was suspicious but decided with a shrug to just open it. Inside, was a paper bordered by frills. In the center was a ripped stocking below a whole one. Below the stockings were the words

_High Hose!_  
Or the Inconvenience of an Unmarried life.  
Never too late to mend!

Vastra furrowed her eyes as she tilted her head in confusion. She turned over the letter but there was nothing else on it.

"Jenny? Do you know what this is?"

The maid went to Vastra and she frowned when she saw the frilly thing. "It's a Valentine card, ma'am. People use 'em to court each other."

Vastra looked at the card with surprise. "You humans have strange courtship rituals."

She handed the letter to Jenny who, after reading it, smiled. "Oh, this one is telling you to get married."

Vastra shook her head as she went to her desk to look at more important papers. "I have a half mind to find the culprit and eat him for wasting my time."

"Could be a woman. One of my mum's friend was always trying to play matchmaker."

"Her then. It doesn't matter to me. Humans taste the same. Toss that in the fire will you? Might as well make use of the paper."

* * *

_Two years later_

When Vastra received a card, she took one look at the message before tossing it to Jenny on the couch. "Apes and their insipid rituals."

Jenny looked up at Vastra from where she was mending a shirt. She picked up the card and read it before laughing. "Seems someone is proposing marriage again. Didn't you eat the last one who did that?"

Vastra shook her head as she sighed. "I did not though if it's the same person I will most definitely devour them now. Besides."

The Silurian smiled at Jenny. "Why would I want any of them when I have you?"

She enjoyed the human's blush.

Summary: Trivia - Valentine cards were a big thing during Victorian Era, starting from 1840s and onward.  
Valentine Image+words taken straight from postalmuseumblog.si.edu/2010/02/love-and-derision.html


	16. Prompt: Pregnant Jenny

Vastra couldn't help it, she was staring vacantly at nothing again. She was suppose to be compiling a report for Scotland Yard but she was distracted. She shook her head and looked at the paper but put it down a second later with a resigned sigh. She really was not going to get any work done. Muttering to herself, the Silurian got up and walked through the familiar route to the master bedroom where Jenny was. Her wife was sleeping on the bed, laying on her side on top of the covers. Careful not to wake her, Vastra pulled a chair over sat down.

Vastra was fascinated by Jenny's growing abdomen. She almost couldn't believe there was a growing little hatchling in there. Vastra hesitated before lightly tracing random patterns on her wife's belly. Her mouth quirked into a little grin when she felt a kick.

"Hello little one." She whispered, mindful her wife was sleeping. Vastra and Strax had finally convinced Jenny to rest more though she visibly winced whenever the two did some housework. They had a few more shattered china than normal.

There was another kick that made Vastra look at Jenny's stomach with a poor attempt at a scowl. "Now now, settle down. Your mother is sleeping right now."

She waited a long moment but there were no more kicks. "That's a good girl."

"That's completely unfair she listens to you yet I'm the one carrying her." Jenny muttered sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" Vastra asked guiltily. Her wife got so little sleep to begin with.

"Naw, her kicking did."

"Do you need anything?"

"You get in here and keep doing that. Maybe she'll stop playing football in there. I think I'll try to sleep some more now she's settling."

Vastra nodded and climbed in next to Jenny on the bed. Jenny settled as close as she could before drifted off quickly. Vastra place a kiss on Jenny's forehead as she continue touching Jenny's stomach as requested. Vastra didn't have much experience with pregnant women and she was forever grateful Strax was there to help. Together, they convinced Jenny to cut down on her workload and to not wear any maternity corset of sorts. To Urmungstandra with Victorian values, Vastra promised to maim and devour anyone who even hinted at impropriety.

The Silurian flicked her tongue out and relished the different scent emanating from Jenny. Vastra felt a tiny kick. "Rest little hatchling."

Vastra soon joined the rest of her family in sleep.

* * *

Original Prompt: Pregnant Jenny  
For the life of me, I cannot figure out Jenny's speech patterns so apologies if she does not sounding right. I'm working it.


	17. Prompt: Jenny's Family

Original Prompt: Vastra talks to Jenny about her family.

Note: Jenny's Speech Patterns = I don't think I got it right. Also, it got a little uh darker than usual so uh yeah. _

**Semi Formal Discussion in the Living Room**

The two were sitting on the couch by the fire in the living room. It was one of those rare days where nothing pressing needed to be done. No cases to handle, nothing to purchase in the markets, no chores to be done in the house, and neither felt incline to train.

"What are human families like?"

Jenny looked up from the book she was trying to read. "What do you mean ma'am?"

The Silurian vaguely gestured to her own book. "Once we hatch, we do not need much caretaking since we're fully formed and mostly independent. As such, many of us are not raised by our progenitors or are close to our siblings."

"Oh well, it depends on which class you're in. The upper class has servants and nannies to raise their kids. Us in the working class got raised by our parents and we're generally working as soon as we can walk."

"What about your family?"

"I was the middle kid. Older brother and little sister. Ma and Pa were always working but we were close."

Vastra tilted her head. "Yet you never visit them or they you."

Jenny looked away. "We're not close anymore."

Vastra decided not to push any further despite her curiosity. She didn't want to scare away the human, not after they've become rather comfortable with each other.

"Well, I think that's enough reading for me. Would you like to spar?"

**Strange Pillow Talk**

The two were lazing around in bed. Vastra trailed her fingers down Jenny's back and frowned when she reached raised skin. She didn't remember those though earlier on she was a little preoccupied. There was several lines all over Jenny's back.

"My Pa."

Vastra hand stilled. She looked to Jenny who was avoiding her eyes. "Why?"

Jenny didn't answer for a long moment. "I was careless and he caught me with another woman. I left after that."

"Humans... punish another for liking the same sex?"

"It's not proper and is a sin."

Vastra hissed in disagreement. "You primitive apes."

For once, Jenny didn't object.

**Hunting**

Vastra followed the man down through the convoluted streets of London. Her first impulse was to rip him and his wife to shreds but Jenny convinced her otherwise. At the end of the day, they were still her parents and even if Jenny didn't care much for them she worried for her siblings.

Vastra couldn't leave it be though. It was not in her nature to leave crimes unpunished. She hissed loudly enough that he turned. Her tongue flickered out making him pale.

"Stay away from me Demon!"

The Silurian chuckled loudly which made him run, like the scared little prey he was. Later, she wiped her hands with a cloth while she looked at the unconscious man bleeding on the ground. He'll live and recover quickly. Vastra grinned maliciously.

Now he had matching lines.


	18. Prompt: No Tea

Prompt: Could you possibly show how Vastra reacts when they run out of tea? Surely, she can't live on blood-wine forever...

This was an absolute disaster. There was no tea in the house. Outside was a raging blizzard meaning going to the store was suicidal. Jenny rubbed her forehead with nervousness. No tea in the house also meant death too. Madame with tea was a grumpy hissing cat. Without tea, well Jenny really didn't want to encounter that particular creature again anytime soon. For a moment, Jenny seriously contemplated which death was preferable before shaking her head. Vastra was just going have to do without tea today though Jenny made plans to hide the fragile items first before telling her the horrid news. Before she hid the china, Jenny glared at the roaring snowstorm outside.

* * *

Vastra huddled under all the covers as the storm raged on. Despite the fire going strong in the fireplace, Vastra could feel the chill slipping through the hidden holes in the walls and the blankets. These were the times she despised the humans most. Because they could self regulate their temperature, they just had to build a city where it was freezing. The Silurian questioned why she continued to live in this frigid environment before she heard the door creaked open.

Ah.

Her.

Vastra poked her head out of the covers and looked at Jenny in anticipation before frowning at the human's empty hands.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but there is no more tea."

The Silurian's eyes opened wide before she hissed in anger. She lifted the covers and quickly changed her mind. It was too cold to rage against defenseless plateware. She dove under the covers again.

"Get in."

Jenny was bracing herself for the incoming scaly storm but stumbled when Vastra simply buried herself in the blankets.

"What?"

The Silurian's head poked out from the covers as she glared at the human. "I'm cold and since you do not have hot tea with you, you get in."

Jenny blinked before finally did as requested. As soon as she slipped under the covers, Vastra pulled her close with a content sigh. It was uncomfortably warm but Jenny couldn't really bring herself to care as she snuggled back.

She made a mental note to "run out" of the tea on cold days more often.


	19. Prompt: Brooding Vastra

Combining two prompts:

1\. Jealous Vastra

2\. Vastra come home in a terrible mood and Jenny tries to fix it

Summary: Vastra's contemplating life while climbing rooftops like a ninja lizard. Or How do you solve a problem like Jenny.

Trivia: Baby Komodo Dragons hang out in the trees to avoid predators like adult Dragons. When they get too big for the trees, they stay on the ground.

Setting: Pre relationship.

* * *

Vastra walked along the edge of the rooftop, mindful of where her next step should be. The roofs were challenging to navigate on with their slanted surface and tiles. But that was half the fun. Only chimney sweepers would be out on the rooftops and no one looked up anyway. It was late at night and Vastra relished being outside without her usual veil and dresses. Tonight, she was wearing her uniform without the mask.

Vastra reached the end of the block and paused to look down at the empty streets for a moment before starting to climb down the wall. The bricks weren't the greatest surfaces but she was used to worst. With a quick though careful climb, she was down on the floor and scaling up the next wall across the street. Vastra could just walk down the streets, but she never got to climb anymore which was a pity. Jenny would probably disapprove of her impulsive antics.

The Silurian paused in her climb before continuing. The ape - no, human - was invading her thoughts again. Try as she might, Vastra couldn't help but admire the mammal. She didn't run away when she saw Vastra, green scaly skin and all. No, Jenny actually tracked down the Silurian to her hideout and practically hired herself out. Though it pained Vastra to admit, she was far out of her depth in ape society. They had mind-boggling customs, convoluted rules of etiquette, and rituals that Vastra was only getting a grasp on years later.

Vastra hoisted herself onto the roof with a huff and decided to take a break. It had been far too long since she climbed and she resolved to do it again soon. She sat down on the edge and tapped a finger on her chin wondering if Jenny would like to try before shaking her head, irritated with herself. Vastra went out of the house under the pretense of hunting but really, she was trying to get away from Jenny.

The human unwittingly forced her to look pass her prejudices and beliefs. Jenny was resourceful, a quick study, stubborn, clever, and if she was a Silurian Vastra would already be trying to court her and probably failing miserably at it. Vastra sighed as she ran a hand down her face. There was the problem. Jenny was human, an ape, a mammal, everything but a Silurian. She could almost feel the disgust radiating from her still hibernating peers. This was worst than mating with a Sea Devil since at least they were related distantly to Silurians. Apes were bred to be food and this was akin to finding her meat attractive.

This was wrong yet when she thought about Jenny joining with another of her species, Vastra felt rage. Jenny was hers. She first realized her abnormal feelings during an infiltration mission where Jenny worked as a barmaid at a seedy pub filled with questionable people. Jenny was gathering information on a crafty criminal that evaded them several times. So many filthy primates dared to treat her human poorly by making crude remarks and touching her inappropriately. Vastra seethed in silence though she took solace in that Jenny got the information they needed. She might have also tracked down the apes who were particularly crude or grabby and broke their wrists and a few fingers. And now here she was, avoiding Jenny.

Vastra scoffed at herself. She was deluding herself anyhow. With the amount of money they "borrowed" from the bank and her fee from Scotland Yard, Jenny could easily have a comfortable life. She deserved better than being grabbed by imbeciles and certainly better than a relic from the dawn of time who had to constantly hide under a veil. Perhaps it was better to cut the strings here and now before she got ahead of herself.

Vastra got up and stretched a little before making her way back. It was getting colder these nights. She'll need to eat more or wear more layers which would keep her warmer but also restrict her movements. Vastra shrugged and resolved to eat more. The good thing about London was there was never a shortage of criminals and other unsavory characters to devour.

* * *

Jenny knew something was going on with Madame. The scaly woman had practically bolted out of the house as soon as everything cleared up after their last case. Vastra claimed to be hungry but Jenny had never seen her leave like that. She had been acting strangely ever since Jenny went undercover in the bar. Vastra became very belligerent with anyone they interacted with, moody, and would hissing loudly in Silurian as she pounded their punching bag mercilessly. Curiously, while Vastra would glare daggers at any other humans in their vicinity, she had also developed a habit of staring intensely at Jenny whenever their alone. Jenny sighed and chalked it off to one of Madame's lizard-y habits.

She heard the front door jingle before opening and walked into the hallway to greet Vastra.

"Hello Ma'am. How was your hunt?"

Vastra looked at her for a moment before shaking her head and heading to the living room. "There was no one."

Jenny frowned. There was something off about Madame's tone. When she followed Vastra into the room, her frown deepened. The Silurian was sitting in a chair close to the fireplace and just staring into the fire as if it'll give her all the answers.

"Ma'am, is something the matter?"

Jenny tentatively approached Vastra but stopped when she heard the question.

"Why do you stay?"

Vastra continued as she looked into the fire. "You can live comfortably for the rest of your days, find a mate, raise offspring. But you stay here, why?"

There was a moment of silence until Jenny responded softly, "Because of you, ma'am."

When Vastra turned to her, Jenny took several steps forward. "You saved me from the Tongs, gave me a job, trained me so I can toss people around. I like it here a lot better than being on my own again."

Jenny was right next to Vastra's chair and she impulsively grabbed a scaly hand. "Unless you send me away, I won't leave."

Vastra looked at her with at her for a second before cracking a smile. "You could end up as dinner tomorrow if you stay."

"I'm too skinny to eat. All skin and bone as you said."

"That was before and this is now."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Fat means one is overweight. You're of healthy size now as oppose to before when you wouldn't even make a decent bite. You would be equivalent to a tasty dessert."

"And you're being daft. I'm going to leave you to your brooding now."

Vastra squeezed her hand before letting go. "I do not brood."

The human huffed in mock surrender. "Whatever you say, ma'am."

Vastra watched Jenny leave with a sigh. She waited until the human was gone before leaning back and uncharacteristically slumped in the chair. This didn't solve anything but at least she knew Jenny wasn't going anywhere. That was enough for now.

* * *

**Alternate crack scene or why Komodo Dragons stay on the ground eventually.**

"Hello Ma'a - what happened to you?!"

Vastra limped in favoring her right leg. She went into the living room mumbling, "Rooftops."

Jenny placed her hands on her hips as she followed Vastra in. "You were climbing again weren't you?"

Vastra had dragged two chairs close to the fireplace and sat in one while elevating her leg on the other. "Yes."

At Jenny's expression Vastra exclaimed, "It was a loose tile!"

The human rolled her eyes, "And the previous time was an opened window and the time before that was a startled cat - "

"That was a fish vampire, not a cat."

"- And before that was a chimney sweeper with a broken brush. Seriously ma'am, either you cannot climb or the rooftops are bad luck."

"I've just been distracted is all."

"Ma'am, just stay off the roof until you're not so 'distracted'."

Vastra narrowed her eyes. "So can I kiss you?"

Jenny's eyes widened. "What?"

"Well, that's what's been distracting me for the past several weeks."

Jenny's opened and closed her mouth before shaking her head. "You are a daft lizard. Of course."

She moved closer to Vastra until she stood next to the Silurian who was staring intently at her. "You still shouldn't be climbing."

Instead of responding, Vastra pulled her down and there was no more talking after that.


	20. Reminiscing

 

 

Summary: Jenny died years ago. Vastra's an old Silurian now and reminisces about the past.

**Warning: Major Character Death.**

 

* * *

Vastra looked out of the window noting the moon high in the sky. It was chilly. Her lips twinged upward before settling down. She shuffled slowly out of bed, hissing softly when her old bones protested. Vastra went into the kitchen to prepare a small meal and tea for one. The humans had finally developed affordable refrigeration.

_"Ma'am, you're going to have to go out and eat because we're out of meat. Again. Where do you even put it all?"_

Once done eating, she dressed mindful to put on several layers. As the years past, the cold bothered her more and more until she was forced to move to a warmer climate without seasonal snow. It was good to move anyway, a fresh start or so they say.

_"Ma'am, you forgot your scarf! it's snowing outside. Honestly."_

Vastra slipped on her jacket last and pulled up her hood. She quietly made her way through the darkness, senses still sharp despite her age. Her detective days were long over but she could still put down any miscreant who crossed her. Luckily for them, no one came by. Vastra soon arrived at a small empty beach and she sat down on the sand. There was something comforting about the vast darkness beyond her with the moon as her only light source. She could close her eyes and imagine walking down the dark cold streets of London where criminals lurked every corner.

_"Vastra, I had him!"_

_"I know you could have taken him, but this is much quicker and I'm hungry." The Silurian made no attempt to hide her wandering eyes._

_"I am not on the menu."_

_"Not even a nip?"_

_"No, you stole my mark."_

_"I'll make it up to you, my little mammal."_

_"What are you - oh"_

_"Does my lady approve?"_

_"Shut up."_

Memory was a funny thing. Some moments slipped from ones mind so easily while others buried themselves inside, never to be forgotten. She couldn't remember which silverware Jenny favored but she could still make a cup of her favorite tea. Cases blurred together in her mind and she sometimes forgot whether she ate or turned in the criminal. But at the end of the day, she'd always relish snuggling with her wife.

She's old now even by her people's standards not including the odd 65 million years. Both World Wars, a scattering of missions for other organizations, working with the Doctor, on some nights Vastra wondered how she survived so long.

_Jenny's once dark hair was white. Her steady hands now tremble and she could no longer sew. She huffed in annoyance at the tiny writing of the book._

_"Whoever thought this font size was a good idea should be shot. Where are my glasses."_

_Vastra smiled as she pointed to her head which made Jenny rolled her eyes as she plucked them from the top of her head._

The Silurian shivered, feeling the cold seep in slightly despite the layers. She forgot her scarf again.

_Vastra sat next to the bed, holding Jenny's hand. Her human's breathing became more shallow with each breath._

_"You'd remember your scarf. For once."_

_The Silurian let out a choked laugh. "Of course. Can't have you haunting me for a petty reason."_

_There was a moment of silence before Jenny squeezed Vastra's hand. "If I haunt you, it's 'cause you're brooding again."_

_"I do not brood."_

_"Sure sure."_

_Vastra hissed which only made Jenny smile. "Love ya, daft lizard."_

Tomorrow, she'll return to being a somewhat stern weapon instructor. Tomorrow will be another day with colleagues and friends. But tonight with the moon high in the sky, she was content to wait for the sunrise.

_"Love you too, my silly mammal."_


	21. Prompt: Kid Vastra

Prompt: What if Vastra got turned into a kid by a pieces of alien technology while on a case with Jenny and the doctor. An jenny has to take care of her until the effects were off.

 

* * *

Vastra awoke to strange smells and something distinctly not her cot. She felt another shake of her shoulder and opened her eyes only to scramble away from the scaleless multicolored creatures hovering over her. What on earth were they? Where was she?

She hissed at them in warning to stay away, taking note of the one with the flashy stick. The other one raised its limbs to show they were empty. She briefly looked down panicking over the fabric trapping her in. What kind of constraints were these? Where were her clothes?

"Easy there, we mean you no harm."

Vastra flicked her tongue out which kept them both away. "Vastra, we're your friends. We just want to help you."

The Silurian narrowed her eyes. How did they know her name?

The flashy stick one continued as it put the stick away. "I'm the Doctor and this is Jenny."

Vastra looked from one to the other before calming herself. She was in unknown territory and she couldn't smell any of her brethren with her. She had to keep her wits about her while she tried to figure out a plan. "Where am I and what are you?"

Despite looking the same, they smelled entirely different.

"We're in merry old London and Jenny here is human while I'm a Time Lord. We were working on a case and you were ah, aged backwards to when you were little."

London? Human? Time Lords? That was entirely unhelpful.

"Sir, the perimeter has been secured and the worthless scum vaporized!"

Vastra's eyes widened at the huge brown thing that lumbered toward them with a massive gun. She instinctively hissed and tried to get up to run but the clothing she was in was too big and made her trip.

"Strax, go outside and prepare the carriage."

"But-"

"Go, we got this."

Vastra breathed a sigh of relief now that the monstrosity stomped away  but now there was still the two scaleless ones to deal with. Her venom might work, but she only had enough for one if even that and she couldn't tell who was the more dangerous one.

"Vastra, you don't remember this but we are your friends. How about we go discuss this somewhere warmer?"

Vastra became aware it was cold, freezing in fact. She shivered and nodded grudgingly. Right now she was at the mercy of these two until she could find a way to escape so it was probably best she cooperate until opportunity arise. Vastra clumsily got up though the fabric (clothes?) she was wearing made it hard to walk. They were so large, like made for something much bigger than her. As they walked, her eyes kept looking for an escape route while she tasted the air futilely for any sign of her caretakers or brethren.

Vastra glanced hesitantly at the strange box attached to a four legged animal. The brown one was sitting behind the creature muttering to himself. Vastra looked left and right, noting the empty streets. She could run but she doubt she would get far since the clothing slowed her down considerably.

"What is that?"

The one the Doctor called Jenny explained, "It's a carriage. We use it to travel."

Vastra turned and flicked her tongue out at it and tilted her head at Jenny in wonder. Now she was actively looking for a scent, the Jenny one confused her. Why did it have her scent all over it?

The Doctor opened the door and the Silurian took one look around her before stepping into it. The Doctor and Jenny were squished on one side leaving her side empty. The carriage jostled making Vastra yelp in fear. She pressed into a corner, making herself small. She did not like this 'carriage' contraption. To distract herself, she flicked her tongue out, this time intent on the Jenny's scent. She wasn't imagining it, her scent really was all over that thing. But how? She would remembered such strange looking creatures with their layered scaleless skin (clothes?). Yet what did the Doctor say, aged backwards? That would explain the discrepancy but it wouldn't explain why none of her people were here. She glanced one more time at Jenny before looking down at the floor. She didn't like mysteries as they tended to make her head hurt.

Finally, they arrived, where ever they were suppose to arrive. Vastra quickly followed the Doctor and Jenny out, happy to be out of the carriage. The lumbering one steered the horrible vehicle away while muttering to itself. They were outside a row of buildings with more of those creatures were lurking around. Jenny went up the steps and unlocked the door. Vastra looked hesitantly up before looking around. No, definitely too many of those creatures for her to handle and she swore it was getting colder.

She tentatively followed Jenny into the building with the Doctor following behind her. Vastra's eyes widened and her mouth dropped down. Her scent was all over this place. It was strong, like she had lived here for years. Vastra looked at Jenny and the Doctor, starting to believe their story. There was no way they could fake this. She quietly followed them into another room with a semi dead fire which Jenny revived. Soon the place was very warm and Vastra couldn't help the relieved sigh. She really didn't like the cold. The small Silurian pushed up the fabric on her arms so her clawed hands were exposed and clambered onto the chair closest to the fire.

After making herself comfortable, she looked at the Doctor and Jenny. "So, we were discussing why I am here, in the cold, surrounded by - humans I believe you called them?"

* * *

 

The Doctor and Jenny explained what happened and while Vastra couldn't quite wrap her mind around it (time travel was real? her people were sleeping underground? She tried not think too much about this part) she concluded they were indeed allies. Jenny found some clothes that, with a belt, fit better. The Doctor left a while ago to check on something called Clara and the brown monster had a mission to destroy the moon.

Vastra explored the house, her clawed feet softly clattering along the surface (No shoes! Shoes were evil). These humans were primitive but it was fascinating looking at the contraptions they built. She had to be careful with the fabric stuff since they shred easily under her claws. Vastra tapped on the metal containers and reached out to touch a sword only to pull her hand back with a shake of her head.

And now, she was hungry. Vastra made her way to the room with lots of metal contraptions and watched Jenny slice some meat up. The human smiled as heard Vastra walked in. "You hungry?"

At Vastra's tilt of head, Jenny explained, "You start looking for food  around now. Go on, I'll bring it over."

The Silurian nodded and clambered onto a seat. She kicked her legs out, eyes roaming the room. Lots of sharp objects. When Jenny placed the plate down, Vastra hesitated for a second before digging in. Surprisingly it was pretty good. She kept shooting glances at Jenny who was rummaging further around. This human was obviously close to her adult self though she couldn't imagine why. She tried to think of a reason but ended up shrugging off. Adult her was probably just weird.

After cleaning up, Vastra took to trailing Jenny while it worked. Occasionally she'll ask what it was doing but was mostly content to just watch. It was strange to not be doing anything. Right now, she would be constantly active running from one class to the next. She'd be taking her first batch of tests soon to see which caste was good for her. Before she knew it, Vastra was feeling very tired. She went back to the first room with the large fireplace and clambered back into the chair by the fire. She curled up in the seat and fell fast asleep.

* * *

 

Vastra groaned in pain when she woke up. Her body ached all over like she experienced a massive growth spurt. She didn't want to move at all but for some reason, she was extremely hungry. The Silurian let out a breath of resignation before steeling herself and stumbled out of bed, absentmindedly noting she was in the guest room. She must have angered her wife very badly though she couldn't remember what happened. The last she remembered was getting shot and nothing after that.

Goddess, she needed some food and probably needed to grovel though she wished she could remember why. Vastra slowly made her way to the kitchen and stopped when she saw her wife. Time to grovel.

"Jenny, I - "

She was interrupted when her human ran and hugged her. "You're back."

Vastra winced slightly, but returned the hug. "So you're not angry with me?"

Jenny pulled back to look at Vastra. "Why would I be?"

"I woke up in the guest room."

"Oh, how much do you remember of yesterday?"

"I remember an energy blast and nothing after."

"Well you got sort of turned into a kid by that blast and just returned to normal."

Vastra groaned as she put her head on Jenny's shoulder. "That would explain why my body feels like it went through years of growth in a single night. I hope I wasn't a terror."

"No, you were cute. You were following me like a kitten until you fell asleep in your favorite chair."

"Kitten?"

"Yes, kitten."

Vastra rolled her eyes. "Is there anything left to eat?"

"For you? Always. Though you may want to cut back. You're becoming round."

Vastra pulled back and narrowed her eyes. "I'll have you know I am a perfectly healthy Silurian."

"No, you are a round kitty."

Jenny escaped Vastra's grasp with a laugh while her wife sputtered. Vastra shook her head and decided to ignore her hunger and aches to give chase.

She was not an overweight fluffy carnivore.


	22. Prompt: Sparring

Prompt: Vastra accidentally hurts jenny while they are sparring(sword practice).  
  
Tweaking it to hand to hand sparring since I have some experience with it and related injuries. Some meta at the end.  


* * *

  
  
The hardest part of sparring was getting back up after being toss around like a ragdoll. As Jenny stared up at the ceiling trying to gather the strength to get back up, she had to remind herself why she was submitting herself to this form of hell.  
  
First was learning how to fall properly and rolling. Those went easily enough though Jenny had several bruises from landing on the hard floor at odd angles. Harder still was learning from a Silurian. Vastra trained to fight and kill other Silurians, not soft fragile apes. She wasn’t a teacher and stumbled trying to simplify complicated moves for Jenny.  
  
The first time Jenny was thrown on the floor, she had all the air knock out of her lungs and couldn’t move for a few seconds. Vastra immediately stopped and hovered over her, unsure what to do. Luckily, Jenny was fine after catching her breath.  
  
The second time, Madame moved too fast and Jenny yelped in pain as her arm was overextended. She quickly tapped out though Vastra had already released her. Using her arm was painful for the next few days.  
  
The third time, her ankle buckled under her weight when Vastra forgot she wasn’t fighting a Silurian. Madame had bandaged her ankle up but it was still several weeks before Jenny could walk without limping.  
  
After every injury (and there were many), Jenny had to remind herself why. She wasn’t a victim. She was a fighter, a survivor, and she wasn’t going to ever be in the same situation with the Tongs, a helpless girl. No, Jenny was going to destroy anyone who tried to take her down.  
  
She took a deep breath and got right back up while Madame looked on with approval and was that admiration? No, that was probably just a trick of the lighting. Once up, Jenny shifted on her feet, her hands up out in front of her chest.  


* * *

  
  
Vastra had to fight a smile when the human picked herself off the ground, ready for another round. Before she learned the limits of the human body, she unintentionally hurt Jenny quite a bit. Vastra always made sure to adjust her style afterwards though sometimes she wondered if it was wise to continue training the ape. But the human surprised and delighted her with her stubbornness. She was a tough little ape.  
  
Vastra absentmindedly flicked her tongue out as they circled each other. She liked the scent in the air.  


* * *

  
  
The two circled around each other before Jenny rushed forward to get grip. She aimed for the collar and one of the sleeves of their heavy training clothes. Vastra blocked her hands with her own and stepped in. The two fought for a grip on the clothes for a few seconds before Vastra managed and before she knew it, Jenny landed on her back.  
  
Jenny released a huff of air as she picked herself off the ground. Her shoulder twinged a bit but she ignored it. One of these days, she was going to throw that lizard.  
  
"Another round?"  


* * *

  


Some meta/explanation/promoting: I don’t know about other sports, but in my dojo, accidents happen and you just learn to deal with it. They aren’t common persay, but I don’t know anyone there that wasn't injured in some way while playing Judo. So chances are pretty high that while training, Vastra has injured Jenny albeit unintentionally. Hence why I wrote Vastra as not feeling particularly torn up about it and Jenny just rolls with it. Also, I highly recommend Judo. It’s really fun despite being tossed around like a ragdoll at every practice. XD


	23. Circus

Inspired from something Neve(?) said. Vastra's trapped in a Circus/freak show. Jenny got hired as her handler. The muses were feeling especially mushy and unrealistic with this one so hopefully it's mildly palatable. _

* * *

The man led his newest worker through the tents and cages. "You're to feed her and make sure she don't get sick or anything. Just toss her some raw meat every now and then." One of the tigers growled making the man whack the cage with his cane causing it to flinch and back away.

"She's smart so treat her like this cat here: don't underestimate it. If you can't do that, well there's always someone else to take your place."

He smacked the cage again for emphasis before continuing down the aisle of cages. "You're to get her ready for showtime. Get it riled up so the 'Wild Lizard Woman from the East' earns its keep. You got all that?"

"Yeah."

"Good, well here she is." The cage was separate from the rest and situated in a corner. The man hit the cage with his cane but the creature inside didn't move from where she laid. "Eh, lazy thing. Doesn't move much until the show when you get her ready with that stick over there. And that's bout it. Oh, one more thing: Don't remove the chains. Bout the only thing keeping you alive as this one will fight if given half a chance. Well, leaving you to it now as I got a lot to do. Welcome to the freak show, girl."

* * *

Jenny move tentatively to the cage to push the meat in. The creature stirred at the smell and lifted her head to glare at the human before zoning in on the food. Slowly, it got up from where it was laying and sluggishly walked to where the meat was, its forked tongue flickering in and out.

Jenny's eyes widened. When she took the job, she never imagined she'd be handling a real monster. No one wanted the job. If the rumors were true, she would be the fifth handler in the past two months. She sat down in a nearby chair and watched it. Though she was at first a bit disturbed by how it ate, she couldn't help but be fascinated by the beast. After it finished eating, it gave one last look to Jenny and returned to near the center of the cage where it curled up into a ball. Jenny watched it for a few more minutes before heading back.

* * *

Jenny reluctantly picked up the stick and looked hesitantly at the beast still in the center of the cage. It was nearly showtime yet she didn't want to harm the lizard but if she didn't do her part, she would be back on the streets again. She gently poked the monster but it barely moved. Jenny sighed and prodded it a little harder, "Come on please? I don't want to hurt you."

It let out a breath suspiciously like an exasperated sigh and got up, swaying a bit on its legs. Jenny placed the stick down with relief. "Thanks."

During the show, the creature hissed and glared at the other humans who came to see her. It bared its teeth at them which made them laugh. Jenny remained silent in the front and prevented any foolhardy audience member from sticking a limb into the cage.

After the show, the creature curled up into a ball in the center of the cage again. Jenny collapsed in a chair next to it. "That went well."

She was met with silence.

* * *

Jenny smiled when she finally found a small book about lizards in the market. After haggling down the price, Jenny took the book with her when she went to check on the creature.

She pushed in some meat that finally made it move. After watching it for a little while Jenny opened the book with a deep breathe. Seeing all the black squiggles on the page nearly made her shut the book. No, she was going to do this.

An hour later had her sitting up in her chair. She looked up at the curled up lizard, back down in the book, and up again. "You're cold!" she blurted out. The lizard ignored her. Jenny began pacing back and forth. There was no way her boss would let the lizard have a blanket. She frowned until a thought hit her.

The creature startled when a thump sounded close to it. It raised its head and its eyes stared at the old heavy canvas sheet.

It raised its head to look at Jenny suspiciously who was staring expectantly. Tilting its head, it looked at the canvas again before cautiously grabbing it and wrapping it around itself. Jenny smiled, happy to remember that part of the circus tent had ripped away due to old age and she was able to bargain for the scrap. She'll go hungry for a little while, but it was worth it to see the lizard moving more energetically around in the coming days.

* * *

The creature looked up at the ceiling, warmed up by the heavy canvas sheet. The strange mammal gave it to her and treated her well compared to her colleagues. During her 'performances' the little one would only gently prod her once or twice as oppose to the sharp jabs she'd become used to and it even fed her regularly with larger portions. Still, it would be good to remain cautious of the female. After all, these mammals were dangerous fickle apes. She was startled from her thoughts when she tasted blood in the human's scent, different from the her usual menstruation time. She got up and cursed in anger when she saw the the split lip and bruised left eye.

Jenny looked up at the agitated hissing sound the lizard made and was shocked it was looking angrily at her right behind the bars, canvas where it dropped it. She relaxed a bit when it lifted its chained hands to gesture to the lips and eye.

"Oh, that. I'm alright, really. You should see the other guy. I kicked him in the groin, kneed him in the head and then got a few more hits in."

Jenny matched her description with a pantomime of her actions. The lizard snarled back, still eying the injuries.

"No really, I'm okay." The creature looked suspiciously at her before sighing and returned to its canvas. It was cold after all. With its back turned to Jenny, it didn't see the little smile Jenny had. Perhaps she was completely misinterpreting the situation, but it's been a long time (since her parents kicked her out) that someone actually cared for her.

* * *

The creature shook awake when it heard commotion outside the tent. It tilted it's head at Jenny who quickly ran over to the cage with some metal jangly things.

Its eyes opened wide when Jenny inserted the things and the door opened. She looked dumbstruck at the agitated human.

"Come on, you have to go now. They're gonna sell you to another guy and he's absolutely brutal."

The creature didn't understand the words but the door was opened and clearly the female wanted her to go. The lizard quickly made its way to the opened door and paused. Was this a trick? The gate was opened so wide. What will it do if this was real, continue on its quest for revenge?

As it gazed at the little human who was helping it, it concluded that perhaps not all the humans were scum. Or at the very least, this small one will be spared. It hissed once in thanks before running out of the cage. It felt so good to be free.

Jenny watched the lizard escape before quickly closing and locking the cage and returning the keys to her passed out boss. That should confused them for a while. She needed to leave quickly before they suspected anything about her. Jenny still wasn't sure if she did the right thing but since the creature let her live and there weren't any screams of horror, she couldn't help but feel some happiness at that.

* * *

_Three Years Later_

Jenny fought hard against the Tong thugs but they soon had her restrained. Jenny spat in the leader's face. She wasn't going down lightly. As he raised his fist to hit her, his eyes opened wide before he collapsed on the floor.

In rushed a masked figure who, after a few minutes, effectively defeated all of the gang. Jenny was amazed that one person could take down a gang of six grown men so easily. Once done, the stranger looked at Jenny with narrow eyes before they widened.

"Why are you always leaving me behind! I'm the Doctor and - oh, hello. I'm guessing my green scaly friend here just beat up everyone here eh?"

Green scaly... Jenny hadn't looked away from the masked one who was looking a her with similar intrigue.

"Okay, now I feel awkward. Do you know each other?"

His companion shook off its shock before extending a hand down to the other woman while pulling its scarf down covering the lower portion of its face. "Hello again, Jenny." It said hesitantly with a small grin.

Jenny grasp the hand and was pulled up though she couldn't stop looking at the very familiar scaly face. It tilted its head at her. "That is your name, 'Jenny'?"

Jenny finally found her voice. "You can talk!"

The lizard laughed. "I could always talk, but it is difficult to learn a language that is completely different from your own."

The Doctor looked between them, fascinated. This was going so much better than the Wales fiasco. It was also quite cold and he wanted a cup of tea. "Okay nice to see you two know each other but it's freezing cold, why don't we move this to the Tardis?"

The lizard nodded. "Shall we? I am Vastra."

Jenny swallowed and nodded. Her life was about to get much more interesting.


	24. Prompt: Miscommunication

Prompt: First lovers tiff

* * *

 

Jenny was worried. Madame had for some reason shot out of the bed as soon as Jenny climbed in and muttered about work. That was five days ago and now Vastra refused to stay in close proximity to her. The Silurian would glance at her and move to another part of the house or go hunting. She also never returned to their bed, instead sleeping on the couch in the living room. They've been doing so well the past month. Jenny curled her hands into fists.

She walked to the study and saw Vastra scribbling something down. The Silurian stiffened and placed her pen down. Jenny could tell she was about to make an excuse to leave as she stood up.

"I need to -"

Jenny cut her off, blocking the doorway. "Ma'am, why have you been avoiding me."

"No I haven't. I've just been busy."

Jenny crossed her arms, glaring at the lizard woman. "I'm the first to check for letters and telegram. I know you don't have a case right now."

She paused taking a deep breath. "Are you having second thoughts about us? You've been avoiding me and I want to know why."

Vastra rapidly crossed the distance between them and stopped in front of Jenny. "No, definitely not that. I'm sorry, I've been inconsiderate. It's just, you're bleeding."

Jenny looked at her in confusion. "Yes, but that's normal for us and you never had a problem before."

"Yes, but before, you weren't sleeping in the same bed as me. And for the other apes, well I've learned to ignore it on the streets if I smell it. But it shouldn't be here since I don't bring dinner home."

"Oh, so the scent?"

"Yes."

The two remained silent, thinking of their predicament. Jenny shook her head and glared at the Silurian. "Instead of avoiding me, talk to me so I know what's going on."

Vastra scratched the back of her neck, looking sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I promise I will."

"Good well, you better be back in bed after I finish."

Vastra replied with a small grin. "Yes ma'am."

The Silurian happily cuddled her human in bed once she stopped bleeding.

* * *

 

_Post Trenzalore_

For the past couple of days, the Silurian had been brutish to everyone including Strax. It was bad enough that Strax left for Glasgow mumbling about crazy lizards. On the streets, Vastra would walk as if she was seconds away from launching herself at anyone who looked at them wrong. Though the veil covered it, Jenny was sure Vastra was flicking her tongue out, constantly tasting the air for something.

After Vastra threatened to eviscerate a bumbling inspector sending him running out the door, Jenny decided to confront her. She walked to the living room where Vastra was pacing.

"Ma'am, what's going on with you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Jenny raised a brow and crossed her arms. "Hissing, glaring, and now threatening that Inspector. Shall I list more?"

Vastra glared at her and was about to hiss before she froze. She cursed in Silurian and forced her body to relax. Well, this would explain why she was hungrier than usual.

"You are bleeding."

Jenny looked confused as she answered, "Well yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Vastra sighed and sat down in one of the chairs. "Everything. My instincts are registering you as injured and require protection."

"But I'm not injured."

"Yes, I know that mentally. But right now I really cannot differentiate between that and real injuries. I suspect this will last until you no longer smell of blood."

Jenny rubbed her forehead sitting down next to Vastra. "But, you haven't had this trouble in years."

Vastra shrugged, taking Jenny's hand. "That was before Trenzalore." She spat out the word, her grip tightening slightly. "Let's just say much of my instincts are not quite right yet."

Before Jenny could reply, the doorbell rang which made Vastra snap her head in the direction of the door, hissing. Jenny grabbed Vastra's arm before she could tear apart whoever was at the door.

"Wait, perhaps I should handle this."

The lizard woman turned to Jenny, tongue flicking. She pulled Jenny into a tight hug.

"Indeed. I suspect the next ape that looks at you will lose at least its eyes."

Vastra flicked her tongue again and went upstairs. Once inside their room, she sighed shaking her head. She could almost see her Sisters rolling their eyes at her weakness. Even a fool would have figured this out earlier.

Now knowing the problem, Vastra sat down on the floor close to the fireplace. Perhaps some meditation would help though Vastra wasn't quite sure she could clear her mind. She ruthlessly squashed the need to fidget and closed her eyes.

After Jenny sent the man off saying the Madame was away for business, she went upstairs to check on Vastra. She felt a little guilty having not realized how deeply her wife was affected. Jenny still had nightmares about cold grasping hands reaching in and being unable to breath. She paused on the stairs, the memories making her tremble momentarily.

Steeling herself, Jenny continued up and into their room. She paused when she saw Vastra was meditating. She sat by her wife who reached out to grasp her hand. Neither talked much about Trenzalore in an effort not to burden the other. Perhaps this was a mistake.

Jenny took a breath. "In my dreams, I'm back there, paralyzed. I feel a cold hand going through my chest and grabbing my heart."

Vastra's eyes snapped open to look at her human. "Jenny - "

"No, we haven't talked about it, not really. You know I have nightmares but not what's in them. And just now, you almost tore the Inspector apart despite him being the same bumbling man he is. This isn't working."

Vastra remained silent for a long moment before nodding slowly. "You're right. When you....disappeared..."

They talked long into the night.


	25. Drunk chaos

Summary: St Patrick's Day = Drinking = Chaos.

Crack. Crack is fun. Well, for me and the drunken duo but maybe not for Jenny... (Sorry fellow human. I swear the house will be neat and tidy in the next story)

* * *

* * *

Jenny was going to kill Strax. She was going to slam her butcher knife into his thick head, viciously hack the body up, and dump it into the fire.

Then she was going to murder her wife.

"Ape, you're so gorgeous! I will exterminate these silly grey furry vermin for you!"

"Vermin you say Madame? We need brain splitters and traps filled with laser mites!"

"Excellent plan Strax. Perhaps the grenades also."

"Really? I'll go get them immediately!"

Jenny banged her head on the kitchen table with a groan. One tipsy alien was bad enough. One of the walls still had a massive hole after Strax became offended by its beady eyes. Two aliens completely out of their minds drunk meant the world was ending, or at least the structural integrity of the house was doomed.

Jenny didn't know why the two decided to drink all the alien alcohol out of the house today, but she was seriously regretting leaving earlier to get some groceries. Luckily, there were no cases or the jig would have been up faster than you can say -

"PATER - NOS - HA! DIE YOU DISGUSTING PLANT SPIES OF THE MOON!"

Strax chucked potatoes at the wall with the floral pattern. And there went dinner.

Vastra had a long shirt on, and nothing else. She switched from Silurian to English and back, sometimes several times in a single slurred sentence. While Strax was determined to destroy the house with vegetables and a healthy dose of headbutting, Vastra was a whole different story.

"Mammal, what do I need to kill to please you? I can destroy the small black flying insects, for honor and glory!"

Apparently, she'd become fixated on proving her valor in battle. The imaginary rats and flies didn't stand a chance though it was too bad most of the china ended up being collateral damage.

Jenny sucked in a breath, and momentarily closed her eyes. Desperate times called for desperate measures. It was time to bring in, the Gun.

The human went into the safe under the house, and picked up the Gun. It was a tiny device that packed a punch, much like the human. She really needed to give it a better name.

Operation Alien Beatdown was about to begin.

When she went up, Strax had begun headbutting the floral wall. Jenny pointed the tiny device at the Sonataran and fired. He collapsed faster than a building during a class 12 earthquake.

Vastra was looking for more flies when Jenny entered the room. "Night ma'am."

Vastra turned just as Jenny fired and the Silurian was down.

Aliens 0

Jenny 2

Game over, knock out.

The human wins!

* * *

Vastra woke up to severe muscle aches and a debilitating headache. Gods be damned, what happened.

Jenny banged the door open making Vastra flinch at the noise. The smell of food made the Silurian groan and Jenny grinned triumphantly.

Payback was going to be fun.


	26. The Cube

Summary: Vastra get's a puzzle cube.

Jenny shook her head as she watched Vastra play with the colorful puzzle cube again. The Doctor brought it as a present several days ago and Vastra was never able to resist a good mystery.

The Silurian had a notepad out, mumbling as she twisted and turned the cube jotting down mysterious patterns. So far, she had solved one side and was working on the second row.

Jenny watched her a few seconds more before clearing her throat loudly.

"Yes?" Vastra answered distractedly, eyes and hands still on the cube.

Jenny sighed, walked over, and plucked the cube from her protesting wife's hands. "Time for bed, you've been working on this for 'bout three hours."

"I have?" Vastra looked at the clock on her desk. "Oh."

"Yes, now come on you daft lizard. The bed is warmer than usual."

Vastra mockingly glared at Jenny as she followed her up to their room. "I am not an ice cube."

"No, you're just an heat stealing squid."

"Lies, I do not have eight limbs."

"Two arms, two legs, a tiny tail, and tongue as long as three limbs. Yep, you're a scaly octopus."

"I believe your endothermic system is scrambling your brain, dearest. Most definitely time for sleep."

The two settled in the bed, Vastra holding Jenny close to her. She relished her human's scent and let out a pleased rumble.

Jenny yawned. "Make that a scaly cat."

"Oh hush you silly mammal."

* * *

 

To anyone who gave me prompts, I am working on them, but the muses are being very uncooperative with them. So sorry. ;-;

Oh, and I do know octopus and squid are different species but for the purposes of the fic, Jenny doesn't know. XD


	27. Defenestration

Summary: Vastra is defenestrated and the consequences of that.  
  
Set before Strax and training.

* * *

  
  
Vastra flinched slightly as Jenny pulled out another glass shard embedded into her scales. Getting thrown through a window was so irritating. Her back was a bloody mess and she had lost track of the suspect. She was thankful that it was only a one story building or her injuries would have been more severe. Vastra held still as Jenny finished pulling out the last pieces and bandage her up.  
  
"All done, ma'am."  
  
Vastra grunted in thanks, her mind working hard on where the criminal could be hiding. The docks? No, someone of his build would be easily noticeable. Then again, he wasn't thinking rationally.  
  
Vastra got up gingerly and slowly tested her range of motion. She cursed in Silurian as she put on a shirt.   
  
"Ma'am, you're not going after him like that are you?"  
  
Vastra shook her head. "Tomorrow, I will go after him. Else Scotland Yard will be on my tail about this if there's another murder."  
  
"But your back."  
  
Vastra shrugged, buttoning her shirt up. "I've dealt with worst. Now I know what to expect, I should be able to handle him."  
  
Jenny looked troubled and swallowed. "Ma'am, what about a partner?"  
  
The Silurian snorted. "And who would that be?"  
  
"Me."  
  
Vastra paused and looked at the human with confusion. "You?"  
  
"If you trained me, I could help."  
  
The Silurian tilted her head, looking at the human with intrigue. Five months ago, she would have laughed. The silence lingered between them for a long moment before Vastra shook her head.  
  
"It's too late for now. But after this case."  
  
Jenny nodded with a tentative smile. "Alright, after."  
  


* * *

  
  
I'm just really amused there's actually a word for "thrown out of a window".  
  
The things you learn. XD


	28. News

Summary: Jenny has something to tell Vastra. Fluff. 

* * *

 

Vastra felt bone aching tired as she made her way to the living room. The Doctor stole her wife away for something and she had to catch the crook with Strax. Had it been a human, it would have been a simple capture and imprison mission. Alas, it turned out it was a shapeshifter and suddenly the mission became much harder. The Silurian sighed in relief as she collapsed into her favorite seat and closed her eyes.  Next time the Doctor appeared in his Blue Box to kidnapped her wife, she was going to poison him. Vastra and Strax worked well enough together to defeat the enemy, but she always fought best with her human by her side.

The familiar whirling sound of the Tardis made her crack an eye open to look at the police box appearing in a corner of the room. Vastra got up briefly before shaking her head and slumping back down. Impropriety be damned, she just spent the last 4 hours chasing and fighting the shifter and an hour after explaining to the incompetent police what to do with it. She tilted her head when only Jenny came out of the box before it phased out of their time. The Doctor and his companion usually stayed for a bit before leaving.

Vastra frowned before shrugging and smiled at her wife. "You missed quite an adventure today."

"Oh?" Jenny took off her jacket and walked over to Vastra. Rather than sit in the chair next to Vastra's, the human sat on her wife's lap. "Why's that?"

The lizard wrapped her arms around her human. "The crook was a shapeshifter. He led us on a chase everywhere before being cornered as a blue feline. He turned into a large raptor, Strax used a few grenades, part of a wall nearly fell on us, and we incapacitated and left him outside Scotland Yard. All in all, just another day of running around London like beheaded poultry. How was your day."

Jenny smiled and took one of Vastra's hands into her own. She placed it on her abdomen and waited. The Silurian tilted her head in confusion. "Jenny?"

When her human continued to say nothing and look at her in anticipation, Vastra realized there must be some significance to the gesture and reviewed what she knew.

Food. Digestive system. Large and small intestines. Easy to slice. Vulnerable area to attacks. Probable death from abdominal injury for humans. Pregnancy.

Her eyes widened. "Are you...?"

At Jenny's nod and wide grin, Vastra pulled Jenny for a tight hug and kiss. 

Vastra looked at Jenny's still flat stomach and nuzzled her wife's neck.   
  
"Why the secrecy?"

"I wanted to be sure before I told you. No point in getting both our hopes up again."

They've been trying for a while and to finally succeed. Vastra nodded.

"A hatchling."

"Baby. She's not going to pop from an egg."

Vastra smiled as she place her hand back on Jenny's still flat stomach.

"A baby hatchling then. We'll have to Strax-proof the house. Goddess forbid our hatchling finding one his contraptions."

Jenny mockingly glared at her wife. "Vastra..."

"Yes my love, the fittest and most beautiful of all mammals?"

The human rolled her eyes and bopped Vastra on the head making the Silurian laugh.

"Little one, your mother is being affected by her hormones already. Please ignore that type of behavior, thank you."

"You're the daftest of all lizards."

"See? Insults so soon. More evidence of the infamous hormonal imbalance in humans due to pregnancy."

Jenny pulled Vastra for a kiss to shut her up and Vastra happily complied.

A happy day indeed.


	29. Rooftop Discussion

Summary: Vastra and Jenny talking on rooftops.

* * *

Vastra breathed in the night air as she looked up at the moon. Even after several years looking at it, Vastra still found it fascinating. She shivered and scolded herself for forgetting to dress warmer. This was cold London after all. The Silurian pondered staying out a little longer before she was startled by a thick blanket dropping onto her shoulders.

"Ma'am, please dress for the weather. I do not want to deal with your corpse in the morning."

Vastra smiled, pulling the blanket closer around her. "Join me?"

Jenny looked torn for a second before shrugging and joined Vastra under the blanket. After a few long moments, Jenny shifted restlessly, not used to moments of inactivity. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you come up here every night? Thought you lizards don't like the cold."

The Silurian pointed above them. "For that, the sky. During our hibernation, we would be periodically be awaken to check everything was running optimally before returning to our sleep."

Vastra fell silent as she thought about those long days when it was her turn. Broken machinery in very hard to reach areas. Endless tunnels of stone and silence. Gasping in recycled air as she adjusted to the changes their machines did to their bodies to account for the changing environment outside. Vastra took a breath, ignoring dirty taste of it. It wasn't recycled.

"I'm not sure how long we spent awake underneath the ground."

She noticed Jenny's fidgeting and smiled at that. Mammals always had to move. Or perhaps, it was just her mammal.

"What are your thoughts on our latest mystery?"

"Granny did it."

Amused, Vastra turned to Jenny who was looking out over the smoggy city. "Oh?"

"No way a lady like her would give up the jewels that easily."

The two women discussed the case a little longer before heading in. Vastra took one more brief look up at the sky before following Jenny.

It would still be there tomorrow.


	30. Prompt: Longer Lifespan

Prompt: What if Vastra, Jenny, and the Doctor find out that Jenny isn't just human but part alien as well. And her life span is as long as Vastra's.

* * *

Vastra paced inside the Tardis, furious the Doctor kicked her out of the room and with herself. She knew her wife was hiding something from her. Severe migraines, inexplicable aches and pains, and now fainting on the Tardis, it was not "just a cold" as her human kept telling her.

The Silurian hissed under her breath as she paced. The door finally squeaked open and Vastra bolted in to her human who was looking at her guardedly.

"What is wrong?"

The Doctor looked excited as he answered. "She's metamorphosing."

Vastra froze, looking at her wife who wouldn't meet her eyes than back to the Doctor. "What do you mean."

"She's a Tenran. Nomad species that float around space until they end up on a hospitable planet. Initial body morphs to look completely like a local species until they reach their equivalent of puberty. Longer lifespan, an appetite for orange things, changing eye color, maybe a horn or two, her species is highly variable in that state. Wonderful mechanism."

Jenny cleared her throat and looked at the Doctor. "Can you give us a few minutes alone?"

When the Doctor left, Vastra tilted Jenny's head up to look at her. "So, you're alright then?"

"Yes. The changes should be nearly done I think."

Jenny smelled different yet there was something still distinctly "Jenny" about it. "Don't ever hide something like this again or I'll devour you."

Jenny smiled tentatively. "I probably won't taste as good anymore, being not human and all."

"I will just slather you with sauce of some sort then. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know. We don't remember until the second change. You-you're alright with this? Me being not human?"

Vastra pulled Jenny into a hug. "Of course. You are still the same foolish mammal I fell in love and married."

Jenny let out a breath in relief. "That's me, the silly ape."

* * *

 

On the outside, Jenny still looked the same physically. No horns, spikes,  skin color change, or drastic amount of hair growth thankfully. Her species began or perpetuated the werewolf and yeti myths after all.

On the inside, there were many changes. Some were helpful.

Jenny watched dumbfounded as the shallow cut healed before her eyes. After a few seconds, it was fully healed. She flexed her hand and noted there was no pain. She stared at her hand for a second longer before shaking it off and going back to cooking.

Other were not so great.

Vastra watched her wife with a mixture fascination and horror as Jenny finished her fifth plate of food and reached for another helping. She made a mental note to remind Jenny to increase their funding for food since she ate everything in the house.

And others...

Vastra hissed at the Nazi officer, hands itching to tear his face off.

"Ma'am, you can't eat him."

"He refuses to talk, so he's only good for a meal."

"Hmm, you're right. Carry on then."

The Silurian grinned viciously at the slightly panicking human. "Now, which part to eat first?"

"The legs got the most meat."

"You're right, the legs will go first. I am ever so hungry."

As Vastra moved to tear off said limbs, the man started blubbering away about their attack plan. She smiled as Jenny began writing everything down. Hopefully this will save a few more lives.

Others were perfect.

Vastra snuggled against her wrinkly wife as they watched TV. She squinted at the screen but couldn't make out the colorful images and was too lazy to get her glasses.

"Is this another one of your soaps?"

"Yes, now hush. The husband just learned his wife is an alien and they have an alien baby."

The Silurian rolled her eyes but stayed quiet, content to listen to TV drone on.

Life was good.

* * *

Meta: Basing off Tenza species. Change it a bit since I think Tenza!Jenny would have (attempted to) tear apart the Whispermen, snowmen, etc. with them psychic powers like George Thompson. Whispermen got nothing on Peg Dolls.


	31. Dinosaur on the Tardis

Summary: Loosely based on Doctor Who Legacy game. All you need to know is that there's a friendly Triceratops on the Tardis and her name is Tricey. No spoilers from the game.

* * *

 

"Vastra, there's a large lizard following us."

Vastra looked behind her and smiled as she spot the dinosaur bumping its way around the halls of the Tardis. She let out several clicking sounds in succession that made it sit down. "That would be a dinosaur, a Triceratops. I believe the Doctor named her Tricey."

Jenny watched the creature curiously, her hand on her blade's handle. Vastra shook her head as she approached the beast. "This one is friendly."

  
Tricey huffed and turned to the human who relaxed. "So why is she following us?"

Vastra approached the beast and when it lowered its head, rubbed its head. "I'm not sure. Perhaps I look like one of its trainers. We did raise them after all for transportation, tanks, that sort of thing."

Jenny tentatively approached Tricey who turned its head to her. It took a sniff and huffed again. Vastra laughed, "I think she's saying you need a bath."

The human rolled her eyes. Her comment was cut off by the warning bells ringing throughout the Tardis. Vastra clicked out a different series making the dinosaur lie down. She hopped on to its back and held out a hand for hesitated just a second before grabbing Vastra's hand and climb on. The human gripped her wife tightly around the waist as the Silurian commanded Tricey to move. "Here we go again."


	32. Massage

Summary: Massage and conversation. Sort of.

* * *

 

Jenny was laying on her stomach, in pain. She turned her head to the side while Vastra pressed down hard on tightened muscles, working the various knots away.

"Breathe in, dear."

Jenny took a deep breath and immediately Vastra pressed down on her back forcing all the breath from her lungs. Loud cracking sounds came from her back as Jenny groaned. Vastra shook her head while she worked, "Worked yourself too hard again."

"Your fault, kept tossing me around."

"You'll just have to get better than me."

Jenny let out a huff of air in exasperation. "Yeah, that'll be the day. I can take on headless monks and bug cultists just fine, but I haven't been able to toss you yet."

Vastra chuckled as she started kneading Jenny's back with her arm. "I'm sure you will, and it will be a glorious day when it happens. Until then, your flesh must be further tenderized."

Jenny groaned, though for a different reason than pain. "That was horrible."

"I thought it was amusing."

"Daft lizard."

"Soft ape."

"Green mean thing."

"Very hairy thing."

"Hey!"

"What, you are compared to me."

"....."

Vastra tilted her head to the side as she smirked. "Was I being insensitive again, dear?"

Jenny muttered, "Shut up."

The Silurian laughed again, but quieted as she concentrated on her human. Vastra was forever grateful that some of the silurian massage techniques she learned were applicable to humans with a few modifications. And best reason of all, she could help her wife while ogling at her freely. Fittest and most beautiful, indeed.

* * *

 

Meta: Deep tissue massage after getting toss all day onto the floor = yay.


	33. Prompt: Favourite Moments and Marriage

Summary:  
Prompt via Tumblr: Favourite Moments  
Prompt via FF: How Vastra and Jenny got married

Italics means telepathic thoughts. Normal script is spoken words.

* * *

 

The first time they tried sleeping in the same bed, Vastra couldn’t sleep due to Jenny’s fidgeting. On several occasions, the human accidentally bumped into Vastra causing the Silurian to jump out of the bed. Slowly though, their slumbering bodies unconsciously inched closer to each other.

One day, Jenny awoke surprised she was so close to the Silurian without the other waking. She cautiously lifted a hand and ran it lightly down Vastra’s arm. Getting no reaction, Jenny moved her hand to Vastra’s shoulder and back down her arm, tracing the various scales and scars there.

"Jenny, what are you doing?"

The human quickly moved her hand away only for the Silurian to catch it in her own. Vastra cracked an eye open to look at the human.

"Sorry. It’s just you were still asleep even though I ah moved around."

Vastra stared at her for a second longer before placing Jenny’s hand on her crest and closed her eye again.

"If you’re going to do that, mind scratching here? They itch."

"But, you said - they-"

"Are bothering me, and I’m far too tired right now to deal with them."

Jenny opened and closed her mouth a few times before smiling and doing just that. Vastra stiffened at first but quickly relaxed as Jenny scratched lightly the top portion of her head crest. The Silurian released a rumbling sound that made Jenny smile wider.

It would be the first of many times Jenny was allowed and encouraged to touch Vastra's head crest.

* * *

 

Vastra truly enjoyed the thrill of good mystery. It was a hunt that usually meant tasty food at the end. While it was a pity that innocent apes generally had to die for a mystery to be worthwhile, she never could quite bring herself to feel truly bad about it.

Still, it was nothing compared to this. The Silurian pulled her Jenny's arms closer to her abdomen and suppressed her urge to purr. It was a very rare occasion that she actually woke up earlier than her human, being an uncompromisingly not morning reptile. She liked holding Jenny from behind, but she loved it when her human held her. She loved Jenny's warmth and scent surrounding her, of being surrounded by home.

Vastra closed her eyes and fell asleep again. It was far too early to move.

* * *

 

Jenny and Vastra smiled at each other, holding hands. They didn't pay any attention to the Doctor who was officiating. Jenny wore a white dress while Vastra opted for her formal uniform. They promised Strax he could toss one (and only one!) grenade.

Vastra telepathically sent a naughty image to Jenny which made the human playfully glare at her.

_"Behave."_

_"Why? You look absolutely delectable."  
_

_"If you think so now, wait until you see what's underneath."_

Vastra straightened as she narrowed her eyes at Jenny.

" _A hint?"_

_"Nope."_

" _Damn._ "

The Doctor cleared his throat loudly which made the two women look at him. He smiled as he repeated his last sentence, "You may kiss-"

Before the Doctor could finish Jenny yanked Vastra down to her level and kissed her hard. The Silurian responded enthusiastically as she pulled her now-wife close to her.

An explosion jarred them from the kiss and they looked up at a massive hole in a wall. Strax gave them two thumbs up.

Jenny sighed and pressed her head into Vastra's neck as the Silurian rolled her eyes. "Strax, after our wedding, not during!"

"But Madame, you're married now so it's after the wedding!"

Vastra couldn't help but smile at that and turned to Jenny. "Jenny, my silly mammal, mate and wife, what say you and I go murder Strax now?"

Her human shook her head. "After our honeymoon."

_"Where we'll be completely alone for two weeks."_

Vastra licked her lips.

"Doctor, time to go now!"

* * *

 

Meta: I think this is the fluffiest thing I've written yet. XD


	34. Archery

Summary: Trivia - Archery was very popular among upper class women and men in Victorian Times (1837-1901).

Timeline: Before romantic relationship but after Vastra taught her a little to help out on cases.

* * *

 

 

The first time Jenny saw a bow and arrows, she thought Vastra had lost her mind.

Vastra dropped a bow and a quiver full of arrows onto table as she smiled at Jenny who glanced up from the sofa.

"You are going to infiltrate their little archery club and find out who has a grudge against one Mrs. Winters enough to kill her."

Jenny stared at Vastra like she has gone mad. "Are you serious? I can't shoot a bow!"

Vastra waved away her concerns with a hand. "I've called in a favor and you are a fast learner."

"Ma'am, if I end up shooting my foot, I'm blaming you."

* * *

 

Training was...eventful.

"God damn it!"

Jenny clutched her forearm where the bowstring painfully snapped against it. Even with the armguard, she was going to develop a nasty bruise from hitting several unprotected areas so many times in succession. She was still no closer to hitting near the target.

Her instructor clucked in disapproval.

"You're overextending your arm again. Turn your arm down a bit. Check your form."

Jenny swore under her breath but tried again, this time shooting short of the bale.

The next day, her bow arm was black and blue but at least she landed somewhere on the target. 

* * *

 

Turns out, she did not shoot a foot...

The culprit was getting away into the forest. If they didn't catch her soon, they'll be searching after dark.

Jenny didn't know what possessed her, but she stopped in her tracks and quickly notched an arrow into her bow. The target was fortunately moving in a straight line. Jenny angled the bow upward and fired. 

She laughed when she heard a sharp cry of pain followed by the murderer's collapse onto the ground. Jenny jogged up to the woman with an arrow sticking out of her left leg.

"You bitch, my leg!"

"Better a leg than your life eh? Though I was aiming higher..."

"Go to hell!"

Jenny patiently ignored the snarling woman while she waited for Vastra and the authorities to catch up. Vastra glanced at the downed woman before nodding in approval at Jenny. Case closed.

* * *

 

Jenny was very angry. Her parents had the nerve to demand money in return for "all they've done for her". On top of that, they insulted Vastra when she tried to step in. Vastra narrowed her eyes and promptly dismissed Jenny as handled the situation. 

Jenny grabbed a bow and quiver, not bothering with the arm guard and finger tab. She needed to shoot something. Her focus was gone and her aim was off, but she didn't care for that as long as she hit somewhere on the target. She ignored the sting from the string and numbness settling in her fingertips without the tab.

Eventually, she ran out of arrows and her fingers were throbbing with pain.

Vastra found her later sitting by the wall, clutching her hand. She hesitated before approaching the human cautiously.

"I sent them away with minimal damage to either. Do you wish to... talk about it?"

Jenny shook her head before standing. "No, I'm good. If that's all, I'm going to my room."

The Silurian tilted her head in doubt, but didn't question the retreating human.

* * *

 

Jenny huffed with irritation. Her aim was off, but that was to be expected. A certain Silurian had been making comments about "primitive monkeys" the past couple of days and finally Jenny needed a reprieve.

Vastra came in and watched for a few arrows. "Such a primitive sport made by similarly small brained apes."

Jenny snapped. She marched up to Vastra, glaring at her.

"Alright, ma'am, I've had it up to here with your comments. See all around you, this house, city, and place you live in? That was made by us 'tiny' humans. We took over 'cause you lizards panicked and decided to hide in a hole and sleep it out like an ostrich. So you have no one to blame but yourself for that.

And archery?" Jenny lifted her bow. "It damn well helped on a couple cases or did you forget already, you daft lizard?"

The silence between them stretched uncomfortably long. Vastra slowly smiled which irritated Jenny further until she heard Vastra's next word.

"Finally."

"Huh?"

"That. I want you to be honest and open with me. You humans hide what you truly feel and think so well that its hard for me to see the differences. You tell me you're fine, but you feel the opposite. It is confusing."

Jenny rubbed her head. "I...you honestly want to hear what I think?"

Vastra nodded. "Yes. If I'm being a 'daft lizard', I want you call me out on it."

"Well I'm mad at you now."

"As expected. And?"

The two spoke for a long while.

* * *

 

After moving constantly all day with tidying up the house and disposing of half eaten body parts, spending a few quiet moments concentrating solely on a stationary target was incredibly relaxing.

Jenny notched her arrow and pulled the bowstring slightly, careful to have the string between her second and third knuckle of her first three fingers. She took a breath as she brought the longbow up and aimed. Jenny angled the bow upward and slightly to the left until she was satisfied. Taking another breath, she drew until the string pressed against her lip and nose. She released the string and held her form, back straight with her draw arm beside her cheek and her bow arm extended straight out, until the arrow slammed into the target. Only then did she lower her bow and picked up another arrow from her hip quiver.

Vastra watched from from several paces behind her, waiting patiently. When Jenny was finished with her set, she placed her bow on the bowstand next to her and stepped back. She glanced at Vastra with a smile and, together they walked to the target. Most of the arrows were in a nice cluster around the center of the target. They quietly removed the arrows from the bale, place them back into Jenny's quiver, and went back to the shooting line. 

No words were needed. 


	35. Aerial Silks

Summary: Aerial Silks

* * *

 

Jenny watched Vastra curiously as the Silurian used a ladder to reach the ceiling to hang ropes from it. "Ma'am? What are you doing?"

The Silurian continued to reinforce the ropes as she answered. "Attaching rope to the ceiling."

"But why are you doing that?"

"I'm bored."

Jenny stared for a moment longer at Vastra before shrugging and exited the room. Hopefully she wouldn't have to "accidentally" throw away something again, like a certain violin.

When she came back an hour later, Vastra had removed the ladder and put some mats under the rope. The Silurian was about 15 feet above the floor. Suddenly, Vastra was falling head first and stopped several inches from the floor.

"Ma'am?!" Jenny ran toward Vastra who flopped onto the mat with a laugh.

"I'm fine, though will need to try something other than rope." The Silurian looked up at Jenny who was trying to calm her heart rate.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting rid of my boredom."

Jenny placed her hands on her hips and glared at Vastra, who felt strangely chastened. "It's perfectly safe. Sort of."

At Jenny's continued glare and silence, Vastra sat up and scratched her headcrest. "Fine, it's been many years since I've done it but it's something you can't forget. I know what I'm doing"

The human rolled her eyes and let out a resigned sigh. "Try not to end up splattered all over the mats."

Vastra mockingly saluted her. "Yes, Ma'am. Perhaps you'll join me one of these days."

Jenny shook her head as she grabbed a chair to watch Vastra a bit. "Ha, that'll be the day."

* * *

 

For the twentieth time of the day, Jenny wondered how Vastra convinced her to do this. Hand to hand combat was useful. Improving her reading and writing was practical. Even learning how to sneak and pick locks had it's uses especially in their line of work. But hanging off 5 feet from the ground with only silk holding you up while they dug into your body painfully? Not so useful or practical.

"Alright, now let go."

Jenny let out a breath before tumbling down until she was several inches from the mat. The human breathed again as she untangled herself and flopped to the mat.

Vastra sat on the mat, while Jenny caught her breath. After she rested, the human got up and held onto the silk. "Another go?"

Vastra smiled in response.

* * *

 

Vastra and Jenny tied their silk ends to a strong looking pole bolted to the floor. Once secured, they dragged the silk over to the hole in the ground to see how the Doctor and Clara were doing against Half-Face and his minions. They quickly secured the ropes around their bodies so they could have one hell of an intimidating entrance.

"Ready, my love?"

"Absolutely."

With one more look at each other, they dove into the hole.


	36. Tomb Sweeping

Summary: Vastra visits Jenny's grave. Inspired by Dark Waters. No spoilers from the episode but similar theme.

**Warning: Major character death.**

****

* * *

 

Vastra pulled the hood of her jacket up over her head as she quietly made her way through the tall weed and grass. It was peaceful, a bright day with the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky. The Silurian paid little heed to it, her steps hesitant at first before becoming more firm and sure. She stopped at a small tombstone, the name erased by nature but she knew it very well. Vastra stared at the stone for a long while before dropping her small bag by the stone. She began to pull the weeds around the stone.

_"If...it happens, I do not want you there, Doctor. Stay in your box and away from here."_

_The man swallowed. "Why?"_

_Vastra didn't turn to face him. "You told me before that there are some events that cannot be altered no matter how much you wish it. I knows this but if the time comes, I fear my heart will not agree. It would be too tempting to hold a blade to your neck until you give, until you change it."_

_"Vastra-"_

_"I ask you this as my oldest friend, do not come. I will not have your death on my conscious."_

After Vastra cleared the weeds, she ruffled through her bag until she found the sponge, soap, and water. She scrubbed the stone even though she knew it'll do little to erase the damage done by time and neglect.

_Vastra held the phone tightly in her hand, her breathing harsh. Her fingered hovered over the last number until she released a cry of rage and threw the phone against the wall. She collapsed on the floor next to their bed, choked sobs filling the room.  
_

Once satisfied with the cleaning, Vastra pulled out several containers of food. The sherbet fancies went on top of the stone while the chicken, rice, and oranges were placed in front. She placed silverware beside the plate of chicken and finally brought out a teapot filled with tea. She poured the tea into a cup and placed it next to the oranges. After she fussed a bit more with the dishes, Vastra gave the stone a pat and sat down next to the stone. She watched the forest around her, absentmindedly shooing away the flies from the food.

_It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining for once and birds were chirping. Vastra didn't notice. She stared at the box and the hole in the ground. She couldn't watch when they lowered the coffin into the grave. The Silurian turned her head and watched a chipmunk climb a tree. It was small and had a mouth full of nuts. The Doctor was nowhere in sight. After the burial, Strax led Vastra away._

A church bell ringing in the distance startled Vastra from her vigil. She got up and stretched before she put the food went back into their containers. Vastra took the cup of tea and poured it on the grass in front of the stone. Once done packing, she stood in front of the stone and gave it another pat.

_"Damn it boy, fight!"_

_Strax worked frantically even though he knew it was futile. She lost too much blood and her injuries was too severe even for their equipment. He couldn't stabilize her and finally, he stopped._

_"I'm sorry."_

_Vastra snarled and grabbed her sword. She held it to Strax's head who didn't even resist. He failed his unit and commander. He failed his friends._

_The Silurian's hand shook before she threw the blade away and dropped to her knees near her wife's body. She pulled Jenny into her arms, releasing pained whimpers. They thought they had more time.  
_

Vastra took a deep breath and one last look at the stone before she turned and made her way back out. By the entrance was a blue police box with the Doctor leaning against it. He straightened when he saw her. "We can stay as long as you want."

Vastra nodded. "I'm ready now. So, what trouble have you gotten into now that you need an old Silurian to get you out of, Doctor?"

She followed the Doctor into the blue box. It phased out and disappeared leaving only a square outline in the ground that will fade with time.


	37. Searching

Summary: Based off Death in Heaven. I run away with a plot point in the episode.

* * *

 

It was cold and dark, little room to move. It had to get out. Up. Punch through the wood, get out. It didn't require oxygen to operate, why didn't it? Irrelevant. Up, out, stiff movements of limbs, dirt all around it, smothering it. But it didn't need to breathe.

Finally, its hand reached the surface. It fought its way out until its head appeared from the soil. Quickly, it climbed the rest of the way out. But where was it located? Tombstones everywhere. A cemetery. It looked down at its hands and body. Metal covered its entire body. No, this was its body. Upgraded. Perfected. It turned its head and saw them. Its unit. Cybermen, they were cybermen. Awaiting orders. It turned around and looked at the stone, a familiar name. Sharp pain filled its head.

Jenny Flint. It was known as Jenny Flint before it was upgraded. Human, insignificant.

Pain. Emotions. Weakness. It was defective. Delete. No, error. It didn't sign the contract. It required emotions, this weakness, this defect. Mission? It searched its databases. Another name. Another species. Silurian.

Vastra.

A security measure failed and memories came flooding in. The first time the Silurian saved it, the day it came to work for her. Their wedding made it back away from its tombstone. The memory of its death weakened its knees and it stumbled back against another tomb.

Jenny Flint. Vastra. Strax. Paternoster Gang. Dead. Netherworld. Refusal. Pain. Rebirth.

She died. She lowered her head, hands clenching into fists. She looked back at her tomb and her shoulders slumped in relief when she didn't see another name on the tomb. It needed to see her. Where? Searching location. Location found. It stood tall, looked to the sky, and flew.

She hovered over Paternoster Row, not recognizing any of the buildings. What year was this? Searching. 95 years, 4 months, 3 days, 13 hours, 2 minutes, 6 seconds. She paused in flight, high in the sky before dropping down and landed on a roof, not caring which one. Nearly a century had passed. Searching. No information.

Abruptly, it was given orders to move its limbs in certain ways but resisted. A stranger's voice echoed through her mind, and it looked up at the black cloud above her. Not yet.

She flew into the sky again and sped to the cemetery, hoping to catch him before he disappeared in his blue box. She dropped down beside the Tardis, startling the Doctor and his companion. 

It spoke its first word since it's rebirth. "Vastra."

The Doctor looked horrified at it but it didn't care. "Location."

* * *

 

She stepped out of the Tardis and watched the building's entrance from the shadows.

A woman walked out of the door and even with the perception filter, it knew it was her. Much older than the one in her memory banks, but still very much alive and well. It watched until the woman drove off in her car. She nodded to herself and walked back to the Tardis.

Mission complete. Perhaps it will shut down now. She looked forward to it.


	38. Modern Times AU

Summary: Black Friday shopping, Thanksgiving, other random moments set in a modern AU with no time traveling or Victorian related settings. Fluffy fluffing fluff.

I go back and forth in the timeline.

 

* * *

 

 

"OUT OF THE WAY, HUMAN SCUM!"

Strax crashed his way through a bunch of shoppers to get to the limited edition figurines. His collection will be complete and than he'll go get the massive TV. The box was taller than him by several feet but it would be entirely worth it to see all the violent bloody action of glorious war movies in high definition.

Jenny meanwhile wasn't bulldozing through but still determinedly made her way to the laptop section. She needed a new one after the last one went to computer hell. Vastra followed helplessly pushing the cart. The Silurian hissed in irritation as she abruptly stopped when several crazed eye customers ran in front of her to get to the next aisle. She thanked the Goddess that she was able to buy everything she needed online.

"Jenny, are you sure you can't pick it up online?"

The human waved her hand and answered distractedly, "In store promotion only."

"Are we almost done?"

"Yeah, just a few more items, ah there it is!"

Vastra sighed in resignation. This was going to be a long day.

12 hours and 14 stores later, the gang staggered out of their car and into the house with their purchases. Strax immediately went to his room to set up the massive TV and to add his new figurines.

Vastra and Jenny collapsed on the couch, bags all around them. "Never again, Jenny."

"Sure." Jenny snuggled against Vastra.

"I'm serious, that was worst than the time we almost got eaten by a pack of raptors."

Jenny tuned out Vastra's ranting and promptly fell asleep. Vastra eventually noticed her human had passed out and shook her head. She reached behind, grabbed the blanket draped over the top of the couch, and wrapped it around both of them. Before she too succumbed to sleep, Vastra let out a resigned sigh. Despite her protests, she'll follow Jenny anywhere, even if it's next year's Black Friday.

* * *

 

Vastra brushed nonexistent lint off her police uniform. After all her Sisters were killed in that horrible mission, she thought she'd never rise above it. But than she met the Doctor who helped her out of the abyss. She regained her honor.

The Silurian looked out at the crowd before them and finally spotted the Doctor applauding. She puffed her chest slightly, filled with pride.

Years later when Vastra stood in the audience and watched her girlfriend graduate from the police academy, she was among the loudest to cheer.

* * *

 

Vastra cracked her knuckles as she glared at the thawed corpse on the cooking pan. She shooed away Jenny from the dead bird and pushed her toward the stuffing and corn instead. Strax was to smash the potato until it was  pulverized.

Vastra ducked as a potato bit flew passed her head. She scoff at using a knife and instead cracked the turkey's rib cage with her bare hands.

"I think you're suppose to use a knife instead."

Vastra hissed at Jenny and threw a bone at her. "I've torn plenty of animals apart without a knife. I know what I'm doing."

The human caught the bone and tossed it into the garbage bag. "Fine, but if I chip a tooth on a piece of bone, I'm going to kill you."

Strax ignored the disgustingly inefficient work his betters were doing. The potatoes must suffer glorious death of being pulverized into tiny bits before being smothered by hot gravy!

Six hours later, the Paternoster gang had successfully destroyed their kitchen again and made a somewhat edible meal.

Vastra dug into the meat with abandon. Jenny inspected her piece of seemingly undercooked turkey and decided to eat corn instead. Strax dug into the potato and gravy while also using the gravy to outline his plan to destroy the moon.

"And with the extra boost from the rocket, the moon will be no more!"

Vastra paused in her meal to look at the drippy mess on the table. "You won't have enough fuel with that setup to escape this planet's gravitational pull let alone hit the moon."

Strax opened his mouth in indignation before frowning at the plan. "I'll need to revise my plan. But it will be a glorious explosion!"

Jenny rolled her eyes at the mess. "You'll be cleaning the table up first,"

"But - "

"Or we're locking up the grenades."

"Fine." Strax muttered mutinously and settled down.

Vastra grinned at Jenny and tore another piece of meat of the quickly disappearing turkey.

After everything was somewhat cleaned up, Vastra and Jenny lazed on the couch and Strax disappeared into his room to work on a moon missile.

Vastra tossed her book aside, and dropped down until her head laid in Jenny's lap.

The human amusingly looked down. "Comfy?"

"Yes, don't move."

Jenny shook her head and scratched a particular spot on Vastra's headcrest which made the Silurian release a content rumble.

"Big ole scaly cat."

Vastra just snuggled closer.

* * *

 

Jenny ran down the hospital corridor, panicked beyond measure. She slammed her hand down on the nurse reception desk, "An officer was brought in earlier? Vastra, Silurian."

"Only family - "

"I'm her wife, look!" Jenny grabbed her wallet and opened it to her ID and a picture of her and Vastra. "Jenny Flint!"

The nurse quickly confirmed the information while Jenny barely restrained herself from going through random rooms until she found her wife.

"Room 328 but - "

Jenny didn't wait and rushed back to the elevator and punched the button for third floor. She sent prayers to whoever will listen.

Once the human arrived at the right floor, she quickly found the room and opened the door. The doctor ducked as the Silurian threw a cup at him with her good arm, used to treating grumpy Silurians. "I still cannot release you for at least a few more days."

When the door opened, they both looked at Jenny. Vastra's expression morphed from one of anger to intrigued. "Why hello there gorgeous."

The Doctor looked discretely at his pager where the nurse from the reception sent a message of a panicked spouse. "Ah, Jenny Flint I assume? I'm Doctor John Smith."

Jenny showed her ID again, her heart finally settling after seeing Vastra awake, high as a kite, but awake.

"Yes. How is she?"

The human quickly sat down next to Vastra who grinned up at her. The Silurian shifted and winced. "Okay, movement bad. But you brighten the room tremendously, beautiful. Are you single?"

The Doctor continued on, ignoring Vastra's antics. "We had to pump a high dose of painkillers into her. She'll be a bit loopy before falling asleep. The drugs have a side effect of causing temporary memory lost but it'll go away once we wean her off it."

Jenny nodded even as Vastra looked like she wanted to eat her. "What are her injuries?"

The Doctor looked at his notes. "Broken left arm and wrist, twisted right ankle, and three broken ribs, and a punctured lung though thankfully the venom sac wasn't damaged."

The Silurian poked Jenny with her good hand. "If you are single, can I have your number? Whatever my Sisters has told you is a lie."

"Hush. What do recommend?"

"Lots of bed rest and she'll need looking after."

After getting another reassurance that Vastra would be fine, Jenny felt like she could finally breathe after the Doctor left.

She gripped Vastra's good hand loosely. "You stupid lizard. Don't you dare do that again or I'll kill you myself. You hear? Never again."

The Silurian gave Jenny a lopsided grin. "Anything for you. So, can I have your name at least?"

Jenny tightened her grip slightly. "Jenny Flint."

* * *

 

Vastra tilted her head at the large Christmas tree in the center of downtown.

"Don't even think about it. It's not climbable."

"I was thinking no such thing."

"Sure you weren't. Come on."

The two paid for rental skates and sat on a bench to put them on. Vastra kept glancing nervously at the skating rink. "Silurians weren't made for ice."

"Neither were humans you know."

Vastra double checked her heat retaining clothes were fully operational. "Yes, but you don't need to worry about the cold. While my people stay indoors during this weather, I'm freezing my scales off."

"You'll be fine. Now move it, you big baby."

Jenny dragged Vastra onto the ice and tried not to laugh as her normally composed and graceful girlfriend cling to the side of the rink. She skated around and showed off to the Silurian who stuck her tongue at her. Finally, Vastra let go of the wall and tried to skate a few steps before she promptly fell on the ice. Cursing in Silurian, Vastra got up and continued, determined to make at least one full lap around the rink.

Jenny skated backwards while watched Vastra's snail pace around the rink. She would offer help, but the Silurian had enough pride to drown a city and so amused herself until Vastra released a triumphant hiss.

Back home, while Jenny was cooking, Vastra pressed herself against and wrapped her arms around her human.

"You know I can't cook like this."

"Oh hush. You dragged me outside and now I'm stealing your warmth. Fair trade I think."

Jenny sighed but leaned back, content to be held until a timer rang.

* * *

 

Vastra released a frustrated sigh as she plopped down in front of her friend.

"What's wrong, ole scaly friend of mine?"

"This human holiday of hearts that do not look like hearts and poisonous sugary foods."

When Vastra didn't say anything further, the man nudged her. "And?"

Vastra hissed something in Silurian which made the man laugh. "I don't think that's physically possible."

The lizard look at her old friend who called himself the Doctor though she could never get a straight answer of what specialty. "You're familiar with these mammalian holidays. What is the proper protocol? Flowers, card, and chocolate? Do they only show their affection on one day of the year? What about the rest of the year? Why do the hearts not look like hearts?"

"Woah woah, slow down, take a breath." The Doctor waited until his friend took a deep breath. "Now, let's think of a plan to knock your lady love off her feet, metaphorically I mean since she probably wouldn't like that literally. Under no circumstances should you bring out blood wine."

In the end, Vastra had something resembling a plan and her nerves somewhat calmed. The holiday was still two weeks away so she had time to prepare. Her Sisters would have teased her mercilessly, and probably interrogate her poor human. Operation "Woo Jenny and may the Goddess have mercy" was a go.

* * *

 

Jenny looked through the album, smiling at the memories preserved in picture form. Her smile grew wider when a certain lizard, finally awake, kissed her on the cheek and peered over her shoulder. "You finished it."

"About a half hour ago. I'll never understand how you Silurians sleep so long."

"It's not that late."

"It's 1:00 PM."

"Which is a marked improvement since I usually wake up at 1:30."

Jenny rolled her eyes as Vastra laughed and sat down next to her wife. The Silurian pointed to the album. "Start from the beginning?"

"Sure, though no destroying those pictures of you at -"

"But-"

"No."

"Fine."


	39. Prompt: Drawing

Prompt: Vastra paints a picture of Jenny. 

Set directly after Deep Breath. 

* * *

 

Vastra watched from the window with a wry grin as the blue box disappeared. Another case closed. She would leave the paperwork alone until the last second however as she hated writing. 

Now that it was business back to usual, the Silurian tasted the air absentmindedly. Her wife was busy doing something upstairs while Strax was downstairs, probably tinkering with grenades. Vastra nodded to herself and began clearing the map showing the location of the Half-Face Man's victims. They'll need a clear map soon enough when Scotland Yard had a new case for them. Once she placed it all away, Vastra pulled out a large blank sheet of paper and stuck it on the board.

Several hours, a hand covered in pencil smudge, and several Silurian curses later, Vastra had something. She tilted her head at it, trying to see if it matched the image in her head. She sighed before tossing the pencil aside and shook her head. Of course it didn't.

Vastra turned at the sound of the door opening and smiled at Jenny walking in with a meal tray and placed it on a table beside the couch. "You forgot to eat again. What are you obsessing about now?"

The Silurian pointed at the portrait. "My favorite subject of course."

Jenny walked over to the drawing, took one look at it and let out an exasperated sigh. "That's a very nice teapot. Better than the last one."

"Isn't it? I thought the flowers might be a bit too much but I think they really bring out the shape of the cups."

The human rolled her eyes and just looked at her wife expectantly. Vastra caved after a few seconds and retrieved the other drawing she worked on. She unfurled it and placed it on the board.

Jenny smiled as she looked it over. "So that's why you had me posing."

"I really was paying attention. I just didn't have the time to draw it until now."

The human narrowed her eyes as she zeroed in on one part of the drawing. "You dirty lizard, I wasn't showing that much skin."

Vastra looked at the drawing and back at her wife, eyes narrowing. "Really? Perhaps you should change into the same outfit again so I can correct this grievous error."

Jenny smacked Vastra's arm who laughed. "That's the second time you hit me today. Really dearest, I'm going to bruise."

"And you'd deserve it, flirting with Clara like that."

"I couldn't resist," Vastra scratched her head a bit sheepishly. "I like seeing that fire in your eyes."

Jenny rolled her eyes at Vastra's reply but quieted as she looked at the other details. The Silurian walked over to the table to grab a biscuit.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"Flirting with a mountain range."

Vastra turned sharply to Jenny who was still looking at the picture. "No, I only said that to provoke Clara."

"But it's the same situation, isn't it? You'll outlive me by another century at least and you've already seen and done so much."

The Silurian dropped the biscuit back onto the plate and approach her wife cautiously. "Jenny, please look at me?"

Jenny turned, and seeing the doubt lurking in her human's eyes made Vastra regret her choice of words. "I am not like the Doctor. He looks at humans and sees their potential for greatness, the good in them. I see filthy apes who stole my people's home. Even now there are days where I want to kill as many of your kind as I can. But you know what stays my hand and keeps me grounded in the present?"

Vastra cupped Jenny's face. "You. Every time I feel that urge, I remember there are humans like you who are trustworthy and good, that my people had abandoned our home long before your kind took its first steps. The Doctor sees his companions as a representation of the best of humanity, but I see _you_. I'm forever honored you allowed a Silurian without purpose to be your mate."

Seeing the doubt fade from Jenny's eyes made Vastra take a smile. "Now, perhaps you'll reconsider posing for me again? I really must fix such a horrible mistake."

Jenny cough and pulled away, patting at her skirt. "Nope. You'll just have to use your imagination."

"Ah, but it pales to your magnificence."

Jenny shrugged and left the room with a last word. "Tough."

Vastra laughed as her human left the room. She pulled out another paper to pin to the board. She picked up her pencil and paused, staring at the sheet. An image slowly formed in her mind and she started. It'll always be a pale imitation of her wife. 

She grinned but makes no comment when Jenny comes in later and sat down on the couch with a torn shirt, needle, and thread. Vastra tasted the air and relished the scent of home and her wife. 

The two worked, content in the comfortable silence that was only broken by Strax's occasional yell of triumph. 


	40. Prompt: Marvel AU

Prompt: “Marvel AU” - Irissteth

Or “grumpy neighborhood human eating Superhero and a reporter” cliche

* * *

 

Jenny ran through the alleyways as the gang of six chased after her. Suddenly, she ended up in a dead end.

“Look what we have here, trapped like a rat!”

Jenny turned and put her fists up.

“Think we’re going to have some fun boys!”

Jenny fought hard but she couldn’t take them all down. A hard punch to the face sent her down to the ground. One of the men lifted his foot to kick her.

A hooded figure appeared behind them, blocking the exit. It flicked it’s tongue out and poisoned one. Before they could retaliate, the figure ran and sliced a throat with a knife. It turned and punched one in the face making him fall to the ground. It hissed at the three remaining and dispatched them easily. Once satisfied, the figure turned to Jenny who had backed up against the wall.

It looked at her for a long second before nodding and ran out of the alleyway. Sirens rang in the distance.

* * *

 

Jenny started searching for the hooded person that saved her. New stories started trickling in about the new vigilante. Unlike Spiderman, it didn’t hesitate to kill. People were becoming nervous. Some applauded it’s actions while others were appalled. Either way, no one knew anything of it.

Jenny was determined to find it. In her spare time, she tracked every location and possible sighting of the vigilante. She had a feeling she was close.

* * *

 

“You’ve been searching for me for a while. Why?”

The figure tilted it’s head at Jenny who jumped. She had been walking toward her car when the vigilante approached her.

“I just wanted to know more about you and to thank you back there.”

“You’re welcome. As for more information. Why not.” The figure shrugged.

“What’s your name?”

The figure tilted it’s head to one direction. “I’m hiding my identity and yet you ask for my name?” It sounded amused.

“Well, are you affiliated with anyone? Spiderman, the Avengers, or the X-Men?”

The figure shook it’s head. “No. I do not work well with mammals.” 

“Mammals?”

The figure paused before flicking its six foot forked tongue out. “Yes, mammals.”

* * *

 

The meetings were sporadic at best, but Jenny grew to enjoy them. The vigilante always appeared near her car and they would exchange a few more questions and the hooded person would disappear again.

One night, Jenny was awoke to a loud thump noise in her apartment. She grabbed her baseball bat and cautiously walked to the living room. Sprawled on the floor was the vigilante, clutching it’s side.

“I apologize for crashing in like this, but I require medical aid. Do you have any bandages and alcohol?” The hooded figure spit out, already pulling off her sweatshirt and shirt to reveal green scales. There was a jagged cut on her side.

Jenny sputtered for a second before retrieving the materials and handed them over. She tried hard to avert her gaze but eventually gave up. There was a lizard woman sitting on her living room floor. She watched quietly before asking, “So since you’re bleeding all over my living room floor and I saw your face, can I have a name now?”

The vigilante laughed as she cleaned and bandaged her side. “I suppose you deserve that much at least. I am Vastra and I am in need of a place to hide.”

* * *

 

Vastra began dropping in every now and then after dealing with the people who attacked her in her hideout. They had longer conversations though Jenny complained Vastra needed a bell on her since the vigilante loved sneaking up on her.

“No, I’m not a mammalian mutant nor was I radiated with any substance.”

“But how..?”

Vastra shrugged as she ate a piece of beef jerky. “I’m a Silurian.”

“So, alien?”

“More like my species has been on Earth since the dinosaurs.”

Jenny groaned. “I can’t believe all those conspiracy theories about lizard people ruling the world were right.”

"Don’t worry, we only control Canada.”

“Really?”

Vastra just smiled.

* * *

 

Jenny glanced at the lizard woman as she lounged on her sofa. “Ah, the scaly cat has returned.”

“I fail to see how I’m anything like that mammal.”

“Comes and goes at odd hours, sleeps a lot, and keeps eating all my food.”

“I do not.”

“Say that to my jerky supply. And my steak.”

“Now that was a delicious piece of meat.”

Jenny threw a pillow at the woman who caught it with her tongue. 

“Ok, that is still freaky.”

Vastra flung the pillow back at Jenny with her tongue making the human yelp.

* * *

 

“I don’t see why you humans like coffee so much. It smells disgusting.”

Jenny shrugged as she took another sip. “I like the taste and the caffeine. Try some?”

Vastra narrowed her eyes at the coffee maker. She picked up a cup and poured herself some. Jenny rolled her eyes as the Silurian stuck her tongue out to taste the air around the coffee.

“Don’t be a big baby, just try it.”

Vastra glared at her but picked up the cup and took a tentative sip. She instantly spit it out exclaiming, “Ngoi sinegin, pida fo skav riptu! ” She ran to the sink and rinsed her tongue under the water.

Jenny couldn’t stop laughing.

* * *

 

“Why did you become a vigilante?”

Vastra shrugged as she sharpened a knife. “It seemed like a good way to past the time. I would never pass for a mammal and my skills are limited to how to kill things.”

“But what about joining the Avengers or X-Men.”

“I do not work with mammals.”

“And yet you spend time with me...?“

“Well, you have an excellent supply of beef jerky. I almost forgot, you don’t have any more teriyaki flavor.”

Jenny rolled her eyes and continued to flip channels. “What about going back to your people?”

Vastra paused. “Nothing good will come of it.”

Jenny looked at the Silurian. “What do you mean?”

She sighed and placed the knife down. “Right now they are slumbering beneath the earth. If my people awaken, they will take back home from you mammals, with force if necessary.”

Jenny furrowed her brows. “Force?”

Vastra shrugged and looked down at the floor. “We thrived when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Despite your technological advances, you are only hatchlings compared to us. The first week, all major weapon and nuclear sites will be within our control. By the end of the second week, all your world leaders would either be dead, in hiding, or in our grasps. By the end of the month, all major populated areas would be exterminated. Your superheroes would only delay the inevitable. It would be the end of your species.”

Jenny swallowed. 

Vastra shook herself and cracked a smile. “Fortunately for you, when I was prematurely awoken, a...friend saw fit to show me you mammals weren’t all that bad and it would be a pity to destroy all of you. Especially since you make good food.”

Jenny didn’t ask any more questions that night. Vastra left shortly after and didn’t come for a few weeks after that. 

* * *

 

”I bring gifts.”

Vastra dumped several packs of jerky and a bag of coffee onto the table.

Jenny looked at Vastra suspiciously. “Where did you get those from?”

The lizard woman rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch. “Don’t worry, it won’t be traced to you.”

Jenny glared at the woman but gave in and opened a pack. After taking a small piece, she wordlessly handed the bag to Vastra who happily grabbed a large piece. The human bit back a smile when she saw the coffee was one of her favorites.

* * *

 

Vastra hissed in disapproval, her hands curled up into fists as she watched the TV. The Superhuman Registration Act had passed. 

“I have to go.”

Jenny turned to her in alarm. “What, why?”

Vastra stalked to the window. “You humans will be clamoring for me to reveal who and what I am. I have no desire to be caged again.”

“Wait!”

The lizard woman paused.

Jenny grabbed a large thick jacket and held it out to to Vastra. “I... it’s going to get cold soon and you reptiles hate that. You better bring it back in good condition.”

Vastra, after a long while, nodded and took it. “Of course.”

“I mean it, not a single hole or rip.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Vastra gave a mock salute before exiting the building through the window. 

Jenny watched.

* * *

 

After that, there were no more surprise visits at her home or by her car. The fight escalated into an all out war among superhumans. Jenny listened closely to the news and rumors but not a single one surfaced about the scaled woman.

She hoped Vastra found her way back underground where she was safe. 

* * *

 

Eventually, the fighting finally ended with heavy casualties and destruction on both sides. Jenny didn’t really care who won or lost as long as it stopped. 

After several full days at her workplace where they frantically reported on everything, Jenny trudged her way up the stairs and into her apartment. The human froze when she saw a certain lizard woman sprawled on the couch chewing on a piece of beef jerky. Jenny’s eyes widened and they stared at each other. Vastra coughed which that shook Jenny from her paralysis. She shook her head as she closed the door.

“Did you leave me anything?”

Vastra handed the bag over and pointed to the jacket swung on the back of the couch. “Yes and jacket is back as promised. A bit dirty but no holes or rips.”

Jenny took it and she stared at the Silurian, noting how tired she looked. “Talk to you in the morning? I’m about to fall asleep.“

Vastra nodded and was about to head out the window when Jenny’s voice stopped her. “You could take the couch.”

The Silurian hesitated for a second and turned around nodding. She plopped down on the couch again while Jenny went into her bedroom.

For the first time in a long while, Jenny fell asleep easily. In the morning, she awoke to the smell of coffee. The human drowsily walked to the kitchen and poured herself a cup. Vastra chewed on a piece of jerky as she watched the human. The two sat in comfortable silence for a while as the coffee woke up Jenny.

“I still don’t see how you drink something that taste like death.”

The human just smiled.

End

* * *

 

Thanks to irissteth’s [silurian 101](http://irissteth.tumblr.com/Silurian%20101) for the Silurian language bit.


	41. Prompt: Coroner

Prompt: “The time Jenny got sick, and the only human doctor Vastra knew was the coroner that they’d met at the local morgue…“ - greyghost101

* * *

John was a simple man. He went to church every Sunday, paid his taxes on time, kept to himself, and handled the dead. After 20 years at it, nothing about the dead phased him. He’d seen drowned, stabbed, burnt, and even on occasion, half eaten corpses. He understood the dead. The police demanded quick results for cases and while he sympathized, one couldn’t rush a corpse to reveal its secrets. They needed to be coaxed and occasionally cajoled into giving those up. He hadn’t dealt with living patients in a long while.

So he was quite confused when the strange Veiled Detective approached him one day with questions about a living patient instead of a dead one. John stared at the veiled woman before answering.

“Perhaps those questions would be better asked to a doctor?”

The Detective waved his question aside impatiently. “They think everything can be solved with bloodletting and perfumes.” 

John furrowed his eyebrows before answering. The sooner he answered the questions, the sooner he could get back to his more important patient.

“Sounds like she got the fevers going around. Rest, plenty of layers, and warm food ought to do the trick. Now, ready for the dead?”

* * *

 

And so it continued.

_“I reckon it wouldn’t kill her if you gave her that. But I’m a coroner, not a doctor.”_

John soon became used to the strange questions the Detective threw at him even though the living wasn’t exactly his field.

_“That might work, or it might not work and will cause hair lost.”_

He even started reading up on medical literature though would deny it if asked.

_“Absolutely not, she will end up on my slab!”_

Then the medical questions slowed to a trickle before stopping entirely. John didn’t understand it but shrugged his shoulders. Perhaps this Jenny servant was fired. She certainly got into a lot of trouble over the years. But no, different questions started popping up all of a sudden.

“ _Madame, I am a coroner, not a flower expert. But I think you should burn those so the message is clear”_

He didn’t court people and apparently neither was Madame used to it.

_“Detective, he was most definitely expecting more.”_

John did feel like slapping a few of the suitors upside on the head.

_“Well, that was an idiotic move.”_

Over one particularly horrible story involving a mime and a minstrel, John came to a disturbing realization. He was actually enjoying listening to the woes of the strange Detective. He paused for a second before shrugging.

“So what did he do next?”


	42. Serial Killer AU

Summary: AU where both Jenny and Vastra are unrepentant serial killers. Late Halloween Evil!Vastra/Evil!Jenny fic.

**Warnings: Violence and some dismemberment. But none against the ladies!  
**

Regular font = current events.

Italics = past events. 

* * *

 

Jenny smiled cruelly as she stabbed the terrified man in the stomach. She pulled out the knife and enjoyed watching him stumble backwards, trying futilely to stop the bleeding. When she tired of his antics, Jenny slit the man's throat and it felt so good.

She threw his corpse to the floor, looking over to where Vastra was watching with a grin. "All yours."

* * *

 

_Jenny always knew there was something not quite right about herself. First it was insects, then it was the chickens Ma sometimes brought home. Her family never noticed she always volunteered eagerly for the job and her smile as she methodically killed and dismembered the chickens._

_Her first human kill was too easy, a drunk homeless man already wasting away on the streets. She just needed to slit his throat and that was that. The blood on her hands felt almost as wonderful as watching the life fade from the man's eyes._

_She remained discrete and chose the weak and dying as her victims. With diseases like consumption ravaging the city from time to time, Jenny had an almost unlimited supply. Still, she timed her kills so that the police would never notice._

_She'd came to enjoy using the knife the most. A small incision at the jugular and her victim wouldn't scream anymore. Jenny tried other methods like rope and even her bare hands, but they took too long and were risky. No, knives were the way to go. If she ever needed to, she could always pretend to be the victim of an attack._

_When her parents kicked her out for her other vice, it was a blessing as much as it was a curse. Now, she could kill without keeping to a schedule for her parents though she was on the streets. Still, no one would ever expect a matchgirl to be a killer._

* * *

Vastra finished her meal and disposed of the evidence with some advance tech. After cleaning the blood off, she walked over where Jenny was looking out for trouble. "Let's go, my dear."

Jenny nodded and they walked back home in the night, arms linked. "How'd you find him?"

"A bit tough, but quite tasty. We should bring the next one in alive."

"But it's your turn."

"I gain much by watching you, Jenny."

* * *

 

_Vastra hissed in relief when the Doctor finally vanished in his blue box. Mammals were so easily fooled by their emotions. With the construction of the Underground, she was awaken and finally freed from her prison cell. Killing humans wasn't the same as murdering Silurians as their flesh gave in too easily but it was enjoyable all the same._

_Then she became overconfident and the Doctor captured her. Thinking quickly on her feet, she said she was military and that she was enraged apes killed her Sisters. Vastra just left out the part she was dishonorably discharged and had been on a murdering spree for decades. It was only by dumb luck the Silurians finally caught her and threw her in jail. They had planned to execute her but then the whole moon crisis happened and here she was in a giant buffet of humans._

_She just had to be more choosy for who she killed._

* * *

"Ma’am, how many times do I have to tell you, don't make such bloody mess here!"

Jenny fumed as she glared at the Silurian who was holding an arm. The murderer she ripped it off from was screaming though neither women paid any attention to him.

"Why’d you do that for? Now we have to kill him and Scotland Yard wanted him alive.”

Vastra crossed her arms, the bloody limb in her arm flopping around. "He insulted you."

Jenny shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Vastra glared at the weeping man and smacked him on the head with his arm. “No, but this one can be punished for it.”

* * *

 

_The first time they met, Jenny was casually wiping her knife on her victim's coat. The Silurian was so intrigued that she decided not to kill the human. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you.”_

_The human jumped and brandished her knife at the Silurian, still cloaked by the shadow of the building. “He attacked me, it was self-defense.”_

_Vastra laughed and shook her head. “Come now, we both know those are lies. Still, I have a proposal.”_

_Jenny narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”_

_Vastra stepped into the light causing the girl to gasp. “You help me find the right kind of prey, and we’ll be able to satiate our appetites.”_

_The girl swallowed, pondering over the proposal.  
_

* * *

“But Scotland Yard-”

“I’ll deal with them. No one insults my mate and lives, especially not weak prey such as this.” Vastra lifted her boot and brought it down on the man’s other hand. 

Jenny threw her hands in the air. “Fine fine, have at it. But no more limbs alright? It’s a pain to clean up here.”

The Silurian nodded, her grin turning vicious. “Agreed.”

* * *

_The duo gleefully sliced through the criminal underbelly of London. With all the blood money they gained, it was easy to establish their facades as respectable widow and maid. Scotland Yard tuned a blind eye since their rampant crime problem was being handled discreetly.  
_

_Vastra grew to appreciate Jenny and her sharp blade. The human admired the Silurian’s wicked tongue. What was one more vice?_

_With her blood pumping and adrenaline running high after their joint kill, Vastra pressed Jenny against a wall. The Silurian paused, looking for approval. Jenny growled and yanked Vastra’s head down closing the gap.  
_

* * *

Jenny admired Vastra’s handiwork and when the Silurian was done, quietly waited while the Silurian tasted the air with relish. Vastra didn’t like to be disturbed for a few minutes right after a kill.

“Soft fat ape. It’s a wonder how he lured so many weak mammals to his trap.”

“He’s rich.”

”True. Now....” Vastra turned and grinned. “What say you and I continue this in our room? I’m quite _hungry_ now...” 

Jenny laughed and nodded. 

* * *

_Jenny knew she should be afraid of Silurian. She had seen Vastra easily kill men twice her size. But she just felt safe with the sleeping Silurian, a scaly arm flung over her waist.  
_

* * *

__

Vastra gently ran her hand through the dozing human’s hair. After all these years, she was still intrigued by its texture and feel. She never imagined this would be her life: a decent reputation, a nearly unlimited supply of prey, and a mate who shared her interests.  

Vastra kissed her human on the head. Jenny grumbled and snuggled closer causing the Silurian to smile. 

Life was perfect.


	43. Surprise

Summary: Christmas Fluff

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!

* * *

 

"Strax, no grenades on the tree."

"But the vegetation will be vulnerable without them!"

"No, we can't have it blowing up. Jenny will have our hides and I intend not to lose anymore scales than I have to already."

"Finneee."

Vastra tilted her head at the large sock on a wall, frowning. She moved it a few centimeters to the right and nodded in satisfaction. The Silurian looked around as she absentmindedly deactivated the acid traps around the tree and dump them into the crate of weaponry Strax had dragged in. The tree was up, there were no explosives on the tree, large socks hung on the walls, and there were boxes under the tree.

The front door opened to the sound of loud grumbling as Jenny slipped in, slammed the door shut against the cold wind, and shook the snow off her coat.

"Why the bloody hell did you send me out to get-"

Strax boomed, "COMMENCING OPERATION SURPRISE. MERRY CHRISTMAS, BOY!"

The human's jaw dropped as she took in the state of the living room.  
There was a huge gnarly looking tree in the middle of the room, decorated by so many lights that it looked like a giant glow stick. Gaudy multicolored socks with faces on them hung all over the walls and a noisy train set hooted aggressively away as it sped around the tree.

Vastra frowned when the human didn't respond for a minute.

"Jenny? Are you alright?"

"The girl seems to be broken. Shall I fetch the smelling salts?"

When the Silurian tentatively touched the human's shoulder, she jumped at the touch. "Did we do something wrong?"

"What, no, I wasn't - this is - I thought you two don't celebrate Christmas?"

Vastra looked at Strax who shrugged before responding. "We don't, but we've noticed you always became…sad around this time of the year and concluded it was due the lack of celebrating your human holiday. We could change anything if it's not to your taste."

"No! No, it's just unexpected." Jenny took a breath and smiled at Vastra who finally relaxed in relief. "Thank you."

Vastra took the human's hand and led her to a sofa. "Good, because that's not all. Strax, if you will."

The Sontaran grabbed a box buried in his weapon crate and handed it to Jenny. The human cautiously opened the box under the eager eyes of the non-mammals.

"Oh my, I can't possibly eat all this."

"It's a good thing we have refrigeration then, hmm?"

Jenny lightly punched Vastra's arm which made the Silurian laugh.

Later, the lights were dimmed and Strax had retreated to the basement shouting he suddenly had a new plan to take down the moon. The two women snuggled on the couch.

"Feeling better, dearest?"

Jenny nodded, facing the fireplace. "Never really noticed it 'til you pointed it out. My family would always celebrate it, no matter how busy we all were. One of the only times we were all happy and not worrying about money or food. Then they kicked me out and well."

The human lifted her head to kiss Vastra. "Thanks, for doing this. Even though the train exploded, this was great."

Vastra rolled her eyes. "I apologize for the explosion. I should have known Strax would have 'upgraded' with it."

Jenny shook her head and dropped her head back down onto the other woman's chest. The slow rhythmic beating of the Silurian's heart lulling her.

"This wouldn't be a proper party without bombs. Reminds me I have a new family. And a cat from the dawn of time."

Vastra let out a rumbling sound. "Woe to me, a proud warrior reduced to simple cathood status."

"You're also a blanket hog."

"On second thought, being an honorary cat is preferable to being a filthy pig."

Jenny smiled and snuggled closer.


	44. Face the Raven

“I imagine the goodbye speech from Clara would be very similar if Jenny was in the same situation. Just like in the doctors name, she would console her, tell her not to revert back into the way she was when the doctor found her, and damn Jenny would face it head on. “ -[imnothattypeofdoctor](http://imnothattypeofdoctor.tumblr.com/post/133679094937)

Summary: How would Vastra react in a situation like “Face the Raven”? 

Something that popped into my brain after reading that post

* * *

 

 

The Silurian flick her tongue out, casually tasting the air. She quite liked the taste. She picked up a knife and sat down in front of the bound human. 

_“I need you to be brave. Don’t go back.” Jenny held Vastra’s hands tightly, her own trembling. Death was coming._

The lizard woman looked at the human who stared right back. “Well, if you’re going to kill me. Get on with it already.”

_“You hear me? Don’t kill innocents even in revenge. That was our number one rule. Remember?”_

The Silurian cracked a grin and the human felt a inkling of fear. “Kill you? No, killing you would be pointless. You shall suffer, and than I’ll let you go crawl back to where ever you can.” 

_Jenny, wrenched her hands away and walked forward, staring death in the face._

“Torturing people isn’t you’re forte. You kill cleanly.”

_Vastra watched helplessly as Jenny screamed before collapsing on the floor._

The Silurian laughed as if the human told the funniest joke she’s heard in a while. “ _Vastra_ followed all those silly rules. But now that her mate is dead through your hands, there is no Vastra. There is no Great Detective. She was weak. The veil is lifted and there is only a _kadathsa_. A hollow shell fit for only one purpose. _Sal lath._ ”

Later, the Silurian left the building and took a deep breath. Not being shackled by human rules made her smile bitterly. Perhaps they’ll even find the ape in time before he dies of his injuries. It didn’t matter. She hummed a tune idly thinking of the next on her list. 

_Vastra died that night with her wife._

So many to punish, so little time. 


	45. Ripple Effect

Summary: Name of the Doctor - What if it was first Strax and then Vastra who disappeared leaving Jenny the only one remembered?

* * *

 

_They started with three._

Strax was the first to disappear, a war casualty on a cold planet. His unit fought to the last man against their enemy but the battle was lost. His breathing became more shallow as he looking at the sky. Didn't there used to be more stars? As he watched, the stars faded out until they were no more. He failed. With no one left to retrieve the bodies, Strax continued to looking up at the sky long after he succumbed to his wounds. Just another dead Sontaran.

"Ape scum!" The Silurian snarled as she limped forward toward the human. There was no recognition in those eyes, only an irreversible madness fed with hatred. Her leg wound was infected badly slowing her down considerably but her hatred gave her strength to ignore the pain. There were rats here, vermin that needed to be exterminated. The last the Silurian remembered was hiding underground away from a filthy pack and their rabid four legged allies. She didn't care how she arrived at this place only that there was prey to kill. She was going to die soon anyway.

Jenny quickly backed away from the lizard who continued to curse and hiss at her. There was no love in those eyes, just pure hate for her kind. "Ma'am, Vastra, I am not your enemy! We're marr- friends, please remember!"

She ducked behind a column when the lizard tried to hit her with venom. There were nothing to be used as weapons around but Jenny didn't think she could strike to kill even if she had one.

The lizard released a hissed. "I would never be friends with spoiled meat. The world will be cleansed of your filthy kind."

Before the Silurian could take another step, paralyzing pain in her torso stopped her. Heart, lung, gut, she absentmindedly took stock of where the bullets entered knowing this was the end for her. At least she'll finally see her Sisters again and this nightmare will be over. She let out one last hiss before a bullet to the head silenced her. She disappeared.

Jenny ran to the spot crying out, "Vastra!"

But the Silurian was no more, just another crazy animal dying violently in a spray of gunfire.

"Strax, Vastra!"

No one answered her. Jenny turned wild eyes around her before she froze. Her past was changing, she was being rewritten.

Saying good night to her wife.

_The Tong were chasing her._

Sneaking into Sweetville, the dead companion miraculously alive.

_A simple girl at the wrong place and time._

Evil snowmen, Clara.

_She tried, but six against one were horrible odds._

A wedding, she in white and Vastra in her uniform.

_They had her._

Several confessions, a proposal.

_One pulled out a knife._

Flirting on a space asteroid, recruiting Strax.

_Can't breathe._

Falling in love.

__The streets were wet, w_ as that all her blood? _

Her first mission.

_She couldn't move._

Learning how to fight.

_Pain everywhere._

Being hired as a maid.

_Cold, so cold._

Vastra saved her.

_Sleep._

Just another victim of the Tong. 

_And now there were none._

* * *

 

_They started with none._

Vastra eyes open wide and she quickly got up from the floor. She flicked her tongue out, tasting the air. Her human, her scent of a clean warm day, it wasn't here, why wasn't it here. Was it her fault? Was she too slow that day? Why could she only smell death and decay?

Where was her wife, where was Jenny, where was she? Where, where where..... _there_. Vastra swiveled sharply to the left and ran. 

Jenny snapped awake, hands going to her throat. She could breathe, there was no cut, there was no blood. Her flesh was whole. Someone was charging down toward her making her instinctively get up with her hands up defensively. She wasn't going to die on her back, not again.

The Silurian stopped several paces away from Jenny, resisting her instinct to lunge for the woman. Her eyes roamed, looking for any physical injury. Vastra's tongue flicked out, tasting how strong the scent was now but it wasn't enough. "Jenny."

The human froze at the name, her head finally clearing. "Vastra?" she croaked, eyes scrutinizing the Silurian. Eyes once filled with hatred now pleaded with her. There was no horrible festering leg injury, no bullet wounds. She quickly closed the distance between them.

Vastra hugged Jenny tight to her, taking in her scent. She burrowed her head into Jenny's neck, taking a lick. She'd forgotten and tried to kill her wife, her precious human. "I'm sorry." She kept apologizing, guilt and anger fighting inside.  
  
Jenny said nothing, relished holding her wife. The past was corrected and they were alright.

Strax appeared on the floor gasping for breath. The Doctor had recruited him for another mission. He was eventually disgraced and demoted to nurse, but he was alive and had a slightly new perspective on life. Strax took another breath and got up to look for his allies, his first priority.

They were not in the decaying Tardis and he felt a slight panic rise up. Shouldn't they be back here? He stomped outside and let out an exasperated sigh. They were wrapped around each other, as usual. Strax picked up a long piece of debris and walked along the perimeter before nodding with satisfaction. The Great Intelligence and the Whispermen was gone, the Doctor and his allies were alive with the exception of one casualty. All in all, an acceptable conclusion to an otherwise disastrous mission.

_And now there were three._


	46. Prompt: Fluff (Childhood)

Summary:

“fluuuuff” - [spookymorgana](http://spookymorgana.tumblr.com/)  
“can we have more with the child, pls” - anonymous [  
](http://spookymorgana.tumblr.com/)

Babies and baby/kid cliches everywhere. Because babies are fluffy.

 

* * *

 

 

Vastra looked cautiously at the small sleeping bundle in Jenny’s arms. She had read books about this, watched videos, grilled the Doctor, and yet still felt woefully unprepared. Silurians had no maternal instincts, her species never needed it. The first memory she had after hatching from her egg was fight her peers for food. 

“Vastra? Want to hold her?”

The Silurian nodded and awkwardly took the tiny bundle. Her arms were stiff as she noted how fragile the human hatchling was. Soft and defenseless, she would have been fodder for hungry raptors. Vastra instantly felt very protective of the newest addition to her unit.

She leaned over to kiss Jenny while their little one slept on.

* * *

 

A whimper echoed through the fancy baby monitor Strax set up. Careful to get out of bed without disturbing her exhausted wife, Vastra slipped into the room and quickly picked up the baby. 

“Don’t scream, little fuzzy one. I know you prefer your mother, but she’s resting now. Where were we in the saga of Tun W'lzz?“

The baby fussed still and Vastra switched to Silurian as she continued the story. The baby stopped and looked at her curiously.

By the time Vastra finished, the baby was sound asleep. The Silurian was always slightly offended the epic saga filled with death, dismemberment, and blood made the hatchling fall asleep without fail but Vastra chalked it up to her horrible storytelling skills. She was a warrior, not a historian. Vastra carefully placed the sleeping bundle back into her crib.

The silurian took one last look before heading back to bed.

* * *

 

“Get back here, you little rascal!”

The little girl giggled as she ran away from Jenny. She climbed up the nearest surface which turned out to be Strax.

“Boy, are you declaring an act of war against your human progenitor? I congratulate you on your bravery!”

“Not helping, Strax!”

When Vastra came home, she decided against asking why the living room was destroyed. Again.

* * *

 

“Again!”

The little girl punched the padding Vastra held. “Even a sauthna has more power than that.”

The girl hissed something that made Vastra smile as she punched harder. “Good, back to the ropes, three sets.”

As their daughter went off, Jenny stood next to Vastra. They both watch their daughter for a little while. Vastra leaned against her wife. “Are you sure this is this appropriate for a young hatchling like her to learn, Jenny? You humans are so soft and fragile, and you were much older when I trained you.”

“She’ll be fine.”

“I want to put her in a bubble.”

“Ma’am - “

“Maybe put several Parthana on guard.”

“Oi-”

“And let Strax use his blatha grenades.”

“Vastra!”

The Silurian finally looked over to her wife with a grin. “You called, dearest?”

Jenny rolled her eye. “Stop worrying you daft lizard.”

“But - “

Jenny pulled Vastra’s head down for a kiss to shut her up.

“Ew, Moms!”

“I don’t hear those ropes going, another five sets?”

“Ma!”

* * *

 

“I have a half mind to vaporize that ape right now.”

“He is just like any of the other boys.”

“Yes, but he smells very bad. And the air taste like filth.”

“Vastra, nothing is going to happen.”

Vastra hissed a threat making Jenny roll her eyes. She is not sure how she got dragged along to spy on their daughter.

“He grabbed her arm! That’s it I’m going -”

Jenny quickly yanked the Silurian down. “She can handle herself. She’s been trained by you, hasn’t she?”

“Yes, but she’s a small human.”

Vastra stopped abruptly and grinned. Jenny looked over to their daughter and sighed in defeat. “Now will you stop worrying, you crazy reptile?”

The boy was on the ground crying holding his hand while their daughter crossed her arms, looking very angry. Vastra was never prouder.

* * *

 

“So, how did she die?”

“She was suffocated!”

“How do you know that?”

The girl pointed to the faint imprint of the lipstick on the pillow.

“Very good, now what else can you tell me?”

The two continued to discuss the case as they analyzed the small details in the dollhouse that the trio designed and constructed. It was a somewhat sanitized version of an actual case the Paternoster Gang solved. Jenny smiled as she watched the two debate while she carved a figurine for the next one.

It was a compromise since their daughter wanted to come along on their cases but that wasn’t going to happen for several more years yet.

Jenny blew off wood shavings and eyed the figurine critically. It was coming along nicely.

* * *

 

The young woman was very excited as she was finally allowed to lead a case. She had shadowed her mothers before but this would be the first they allowed her find and apprehend the criminal. Even though she couldn’t see or smell them, she knew her mothers were trailing behind and Strax was manning the carriage. They wouldn’t interfere unless something went horribly wrong. One day, they won’t be there to follow, but until then she relished having three extra shadows.

* * *

 

Meta: The case dollhouses are based off [Nutshell dioramas ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutshell_Studies_of_Unexplained_Death)created by [Frances Glessner Lee](http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2014/06/nutshell_dioramas_of_death_frances_glessner_lee_forensic_science_and_training.html),  essentially the mother of forensic investigation. Check out her stuff, she’s awesome.


	47. Prompt: Kid Jenny

“ Can you please write a Jenny and Vastra fic where Jenny gets turned into a child and strax and Vastra have to care for her. Strax happy And proud at how Jenny is listening to him talk about all the weapons and explosives he has. And then Vastra nearly dying at young Jenny's Adorableness!! Please o(^▽^)o “ - [earth-and-lava](http://earth-and-lava.tumblr.com)

I again have no idea what age I made kid!Jenny. *is terrible with kids*

 

* * *

 

“Doctor, we have a situation.”

Vastra picked up the child by her leg.

“Vastra, put her down right now!”

The Silurian gingerly dropped the child onto the floor who promptly began to cry. Vastra left eye twitched as she grimaced. 

“As I said, a situation.”

* * *

 

Strax blinked owlishly at the small child. “This is the boy? She has regressed.”

Vastra held the child by the back of her clothes and lifted her up. The girl sniffed, a bit terrified. “Indeed.”

“Vastra, that’s not how you hold a child!” 

The Silurian handed the girl over to the Doctor who huffed and grumbled about useless lizards and potatoes.

* * *

 

Vastra watched Jenny cautiously, keeping her distance. The little girl was sitting in front of Strax, transfixed by how he was juggling grenades. He was also explaining why grenades were the best weapons on the primitive planet which Jenny summarized as “Boom”. 

“Yes giant explosions! You are learning, boy!”

“Boom, Boom, Boom, Beh Boom!”

Vastra sighed and dragged a hand down her face. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

The storm raged with wind rattling the windows and rain hammering the house. Lightning flashed in the sky followed by loud thundering as if someone was pounding large drums. 

Vastra ignored all of that as she worked on the case at her desk. She startled when she felt something pull at her dress. The Silurian looked down and saw Jenny gripping her dress tightly, looking at the window. The little girl whimpered and buried her face in Vastra’s dress when thunder rocked the house. 

Vastra looked from the window to Jenny and back. She sighed and carefully picked up the human, placing her on her lap. Jenny whimpered again.

“Did I ever tell you the saga of Tun W'lzz?”

* * *

 

Vastra awoke on the couch to a small human on her chest. She tried moving but the mammalian lump whined and curled closer. The Silurian rolled her eyes but cracked a faint grin. She adjusted her thermal clothing to give off more heat and after making sure the power would be good for a few more hours, promptly fell asleep again. 

* * *

 

“Boom, beh boom.”

“No, explosions are bad for this experiment.”

“No boom?“

“Yes, it will cause a chain reaction that will destroy the house.”

“No boom.”

Vastra nodded absentmindedly patting the girl on the head.

* * *

 

"Are you sure this is for humans? They are so incredibly fragile."

"Ma'am, I am a nurse. This will indeed be edible for their pathetic species. It has all the required nutrients they need."

Miraculously, Jenny ate the strange looking porridge with gusto. Vastra hoped when her wife returned, she wouldn’t kill them when she saw the state of the kitchen.

* * *

 

Vastra breathed a sigh of relief when the blue Tardis phased into existence. The Doctor burst from the box waving a vial around. “I found it!”

* * *

 

Jenny, finally fixed, groaned as she laid in bed. Her body felt like she went ten rounds with a Judoon and lost, her memories fuzzy and mouth dry. Vastra and Strax flitted around the room like bumblebees making the human a bit dizzy. “Oi, Strax go play with your grenades. Vastra, get in ‘ere now.”

The human was greatly amused how quick her orders were followed. Now if only the two listened her more often, she wouldn’t have been shrunk into a child.She was seriously contemplating being “sick” a bit longer than necessary if only to get such quick results. 

Once they were alone, Vastra carefully curled herself around Jenny, wrapping a protective arm around her human’s stomach. “I’m glad you’re back. You human hatchlings are so needy.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “I hope I wasn’t a terror.”

“Just a little one.”

The human summoned just enough energy to lightly punched Vastra in the arm which made the Silurian grin.  


	48. Prompt: Oblivious Crimefighting Idiots in Love AU

“What about ladybug au? When bad guys are out, jenny and vastra both don their masked fighting gear each unknown to the other. Jenny loves her boss vastra, who she maids for, and vastra loves the masked girl she fights crime with at night?” - Anonymous 

I’m unfamiliar with the Ladybug show(?) so I ran away with the idea of both being crime fighting idiots in love. Kinda cracky and OOC. 

* * *

 

Vastra turned off her cloaking device and sighed in relief as she felt the change happen over her body. She rolled her shoulders and started the timer. The Silurian winced as she felt a tingling sensation travel through her lengthening tongue and her skin itched as her scales reemerged after being suppressed all day long. Vastra shook her limbs out once the itching and tingling sensations stopped completely. She frowned momentarily and sighed in resignation looking at the time. It took twenty minutes before her body returned to normal, nearly a full four minutes more than usual. Vastra grumbled as she put on her uniform and mask. She will need pay a visit to the Doctor before the night was done.

Vastra opened the creaky window of the abandoned building and peered out. The coast was clear. She smiled.

* * *

 

Jenny had waited fifteen minutes to make sure her boss was not going to come back. Boss lady always forgot something or other and one time came back a grand total of six times. It was a good thing Jenny loved the woman or she’d have quit long ago in protest. Boss lady was always a bit scatterbrained, sometimes forgetting to eat when she became engrossed in her research. Jenny nodded to herself when the fifteen minutes finished and she nearly skipped out of the building after locking it up. 

Grumpy green hot lady was sure to appear tonight and she most definitely needed her partner. 

* * *

 

The Noster Devil hissed as the augmented raptor tried to bite her which she deftly avoided. She was going to find whoever was making these damn things and eat them with ketchup. She was just about to stab it when it froze for a moment and flopped forward. 

“Mind if I join in the fun?”

The Silurian smiled. “You’re late.”

A woman in red with a red hood and mask stepped into the light, shrugging her shoulders. “Traffic and you missed a few on Broadway, you’re welcome.”

The scaled woman was cut off from replying when the heard the sounds of more raptors approaching.

“Bet I can take on more than you.”

The Devil merely hissed in response that made the other woman gasp mockingly. “That was a low blow, these pants are new I’ll have you know.”

The lizard woman rolled her eyes but her smile never quite left even as she enjoyed fighting with the short red costumed woman. The two made short work of the remaining raptors, years fighting together allowing them to fight as a near perfect team. 

Once done, the scaled woman grabbed one of the down raptors by the head. _“Who do you work for?”_ She hissed in Silurian. 

“ _Like we’d tell you. We are loyal, unlike you, traitor.”_ It laughed. 

“ _Than there’s no use for you. Any last words?”_

“Kadathsa bal natha-”

The Noster Devil didn’t let it finish before she slit it’s throat. Her human ally turned away, having never gotten used to Silurian form of brutal justice. It had been a point of contention between the two until they came to a grudging agreement that reptiles were under the Devil’s jurisdiction while mammals’ came under the human’s. 

They heard police sirens in the distance. The woman in red nodded to the Devil, tapped the device on her wrist, and teleported away. 

The SIlurian shook her head, smiling before locating a manhole cover and disappearing into the sewers. 

By the time the police arrive, there was only dead raptors around. 

* * *

 

“Next time, can you avoid the sewers? You stink!”

Vastra rolled her eyes as the Doctor tinkered with her cloaking device. “It was that, or be surrounded by the police, questions, and dead raptors everywhere.”

“Nothing you can’t handle. And done!” 

The Doctor handed the object back. “That should be good for now, try it. These things are so fidgety.”

The Silurian turned on the device and braced herself. Her body shook as the scales receded and her tongue shrunk to human length. “When are you going to make something that doesn’t make me feel like I want to jump out of my scales every time.”

The Doctor shrugged as he handed over a wig. “You’re the one who wanted authenticity since you operate with humans instead of your own kind. Speaking of which-” 

“No.”

“Oh come on.”

“I am not telling you anything about my love life.”

“As if you had one. Did you forget a pen again? Maybe a folder? Or your keys? I swear you turn into the biggest lovesick idiot when you’re around her.”

Vastra hissed in warning that made the Doctor raise his hands. “Fine, fine. don’t listen to me. You know the way out, close the door please.”

The Silurian watched the man retreat to his room before shaking her head. She had a few more hours to catch some sleep before having to go to work.

* * *

 

Jenny groaned at her desk and trying not to move her injured side too much. That will teach her for rushing to the Noster Devil’s side and being sloppy. She didn’t notice the pain until after the adrenaline wore off and her painkillers barely took off the sting. Hopefully she doesn’t bleed through her bandages. 

She perked up slightly as she heard the door open and in walked her scatterbrained boss, mumbling to herself about her research. 

“Morning!”

“Hmm? Oh yes, good morning. Enjoy.” 

Her boss absentmindedly placed a hot cup of coffee in front of Jenny before disappearing into her lab. The human’s grin widened as she noticed it was her favorite despite her boss hating coffee with a passion. 

“Jenny! I require your assistance.”

The girl quickly took a sip and gingerly made her way to her boss’s side. 

“Yes?”

“New supplies came in. Please arrange them in their proper place.”

“Will do!”

Jenny took a deep breath before lifting, her aching side bursting in pain. She gritted her teeth as she moved the heavy boxes.

“Oh, while your - what happened to you?!”

Jenny looked down and mentally cursed whens he noticed the blood leaking through her shirt. She placed the box down as the other woman rushed to her side. 

“Take off your shirt.”

“Ma’am-”

“That needs to be looked over, take off your shirt.”

Jenny’s cheeks burned as she unbuttoned her shirt and revealed her injury.

Her head snapped to the other woman when she gasped in shock.

“Claw marks. _Raptor_ claw marks. Their was only one attack last night. Crimson Horror?”

Jenny opened her mouth to deny before closing her mouth and shrugging. Her boss looked at her for another second before shaking herself and went to get the first aid kit. “Well, sit down before you collapse and let me patch this up, properly.”

The human fidgeted in her boss’s absence looking down at the floor. This was not suppose to happen, hopefully the other woman would understand now why she sometimes came in with a black eye. 

“You always did rush into situations without analyzing them properly, “

Jenny’s eyes opened in shock as she heard the voice. She looked up to see Vastra, back to her regular old green scaled self, sitting down next to her to re-bandage her wound. 

“You’re the Noster Devil, ma’am?!”

“Yes, and now you’ll tell me why you have a gaping hole in your side.”

The human laughed in relief and joy, ignoring the sting. “Well, you see...”


End file.
